A letter from April 26th, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, HAPPY 30th birthday! I really hope that you are happy today. I hope that whatever it is you're doing, wherever you are today that you are happy. I can't believe we're 30! Wow! Aging is so weird isn't it? At this moment, I am 25; sitting at home sick, thinking about how terrified I am that my youth is coming to an end. The thing is, I have no idea what to do with our life. I don't know if I want to get into marketing, but that's where I'm at right now. I miss writing, but it seems that I do everything these days but write. I am running around like a fucking crazy person since moving to New York and some of that has come off itself onto me. I don't like the anxiety of this state, I don't like how rushed I feel all the time. I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to think all the things I want to think, read all the things I want to read, and do all the things I want to do- does that get better wherever you are? Are you happier now? Did we find what we loved? If we didn't- I hope that we are at least happy. 30 is a big number, try not to be afraid of it. We are 30, flirty and thriving! Hopefully.. This year I am going to SC twice, and also trying to figure out if grad school is worth the money. If marriage is worth the headache, if the white-picket fence thing is actually for me. I wish I could look through a window at wherever you are right now and adjust accordingly. Did you get married?! Where!? Did you have any regrets? Did you ever make it back to California? Where else in the world have you gone? So many questions! But I'm sure you have answered them all already. I love you so much, I love us, and I love this experience on earth. If weed is legal nation wide, find a joint with some napa red wine today, and laugh. Laugh, dance, cry, celebrate. Happy 30th

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Why Hello there 25 year old self. My goodness, what a journey we’ve already had and will continue on.

Yes, things will...

Swol. .
Dan esy, ’yuoll ni mkiertang uncntioe - well od. .
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Kcab yuo aliaofcinr ddi meak to it ssueg awht?. Torrehnn midn btu clirfanioa etim ycxetla otn - waht in l’tli adh this be uoy. Ioccrnfas oemv usryeflo nas to uoy. .
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Eys aahh,. I wnok. .
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Hte and eys y!uo gerat lheaht ni rae sact ojin. .
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Ulos mdear had tbu hdra too - irafnaicol uroy li’lt eihwl in usynn ill’t eht - mind eb rfo be nwats’ ogod ti oyu. A nointlroatarfasm tceahrp niinebggn fo morja s’it of teh lief uyor. Dan nimd empeyollct nadrou - lodrw brea in hngeca het nkwe egrteyhivn but htat uyo ,uoy ilwl. .
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Lylou’ btu srvivue. Eaebcsu dna of nrogsret it ecmobe. .
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Ewsn oodg orme. Pkra edrimra glieacr setuamol in yuro do etg tanoinla uyo ot -. Swa phipseta oryu - ealh,id it yda of but nrai it and duroep eilf ,onesdw eht. .
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Eivg i ywaa ’cant lal ti ouhhtg. Eor’uy teh nda yllu’o nret’a os cetpf,er humc cepetsr, letra rayse mrfo thniiw tcepraeipa negsirid that be hte ’lyolu but - o,lve dan nopres lliw nerosp. Bkac to dot’n tetenwis oot nda ywrro ’cant rty your uyo uabe-esc cuhm eyojn og. .