Time Travelled — almost 3 years

A letter from June 21st, 2018

Jun 22, 2018 Jun 21, 2021

Epilogue

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Eussg cpdeamni ïneav !wno od sa + that reasy uyo i to aoblgl a ilwl os vefi. .
.
My gihh ngoler i josh o:eprsil chools ma sehaerttwe no tihw. Heav my ebts thbo nsideico ulcod h,socol us to teh cdeeidd of i enbig nddee -ma-de our ni ihwhc of lyanlif fro tgeaurad i pu eayr dne ilptahrinseo aslt. Drelynciib adn rhteo hace ew rof ew gorteteh tighr nyuhppa just rewe wre'ten. Nwo ot phoe hmi teerh sayre ksnoep avte'hn i in elwl i hse' utb dngoi. .
.
Emt i:i enirnt ilprose was reofeb enamrag tebs claltyau wno ayesr na a oseneom rtawalm i nda i riedram my ta trap swa i'm to nr;dfei nwhe he. Itgadn him hte lsiscca nda ntnecredeco lamatw?r" mfro ew _"__ a ppa on msedegas i aws sftir nhtgi. A apersh endde vswo dwendgi htta in lsao pu my. .
.
Etugdaar i yrea of hcosol irtsf ma tuo ym hiifsn to 3 job autbo !!)!( of. Is atth eanhtor taht gcisnfainit aeirs ytneerlc pya sllit taceedpc 'mi het i iisoptno a orpcsse ytnigr to tcfa. .
.
That dnesosgo in hhaa end ta nhipengap not lwoud fcat athkn i pu nde did i het htat rsieedcne if;el pu huhtgot. .
.
Elhl im' in 'tsereh on ayn oh inhagv sdki awy eitm ,aeyh noos. Noe nda i veha ni sthi if ndoe i'st a od !eom?onyc cl,dih. .
.
Ym ndt'o sola, nt:hig eno btuao mnroyae wsa atsp dyihtabsr uaotb girth em crea i. To hfal am ehva lod tnhki i the imte how oautb i. .
.
Is tapr wrory em fo fo sha ti uatbo but tihs tlils me rmeecab hoantre giynrt rpat agg,ni ot. I leif rfo ayd ihhwc whit gtaueflr eryve eag cmeso pecreixnee dna dmwios am. Em a atth as esls wnmoa of acer butoa hnitk hitw hertso to wtah tusglrdeg ygreuno i nemyliems enotci sigrttna i i ma chwhi. Ermo aer feil you tlisl nieg"sr ltleti evtsen og utb nda i itapent lliw the ols"eno patntie fi tncere em lte a citahgne ;tib to ta ckus ot ibgen eb. .
.
That arde othsre can tsih fo ese lvtesmeseh shit rtpas adn epoh ni i. Ery2l2o-ad- ewer eiv' tfdciliuf vfie ni adn yltsva omse pcrxieedeen ym olatsm sya;re meemnis sha etwor ohrgtw i my utb ivrmpeod sa itsrf nesci lefi a siemt letert hnascge otmysl. Ecma tncsdripioe ym eon tthuhog teawnd ti uto onen uto )ewh!w( awy stomla adn ynufn woudl true hwo hsote of apyl lfie s'it apnl dna ot i. .

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