A letter from July 21st, 2018

Dear FutureMe, It didnt work out with jake. or at least i dont think it did. but thats not your crying about right now is it? your insecurities are getting the best of you and your just a broken girl right now. but thats okay. because i hope by now you have felt the love you have been craving to feel since you were 11 fucking years old. I hope you have felt what it feels like to have someone just be happy to have you in their lifes. and if you havent i hope youve found peace with yourself. I hope you quit writing these letters to yourself because you feel like you cant talk to anyone about how you really feel besides your future self. I just wish i had that right now. someone to give me advise instead of just sitting here feeling stupid for putting my heart out there yet again just to have it rejected. Because at this point your heart cant be broken because theres nothing left. I hopes thats changed too. i hope you dont let people in as easy. and your heart doesnt get broken as fast. Im putting alot of "i hopes" in here. but im just trying to set goals i guess. I wonder if youre married. or have a boyfriend at least. I wonder if youre moved out of moms house. i wonder if you have kids. Youre past self is only 2 of these three things are true if any. But if you do have kids i know youre a great mom. or i hope you are. thats all youve ever wanted was to be a good mom. well thats all for now. i suppose, oh and i hope youve stopped saying that because it made you feel smarter.