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Dear FutureMe,
Man... this is being written on a whim, but hey, maybe this will be one of those timely things to turn your day around. Or maybe you'll ignore this. I don't know. I guess I'll just remind you of a few things you may have forgotten.
The darkness you experience is not uncommon to man. Know that whatever you're going through right now, other people have gone through before. And they've had it worse. And they survived. You can too.
You're not a victim. I don't know if you've pursued an Autism Spectrum diagnosis like you were thinking about, but you're not a victim. Don't fall into that mental trap. It will just hold you back and keep you from being the best you that you can be. You've learned to at least not absolutely destroy your relationships by quelling your compulsions to try to always be right. Hold that ground, and expand that to thrive in social situations. You can do it.
You've come so far! 2400 miles in fact! Hopefully even farther, just to keep that doggone averseness to adventure at bay. I know you are seeking for security. I know you want to be in a place where the stress can be held at bay. Don't forget that sometimes it's good to push yourself against the grain, just to see how much you've grown and what you can handle.
Don't be afraid to fail. Just fail smart. Choose a good benefit/risk ratio. Save your money. Keep on Keto, because you always regret coming off of it. Your brain and body feel so much better.
As far as love goes. Keep trying. I don't know what else to tell you, I hope you've figured out the whole "sharing the rest of your life" thing, because I haven't. I'm sure you'll think of something. :D
Most of all, stay humble, stay on your toes, keep an open, yet guarded mind, and keep pushing yourself. Don't stagnate. Life is too short for that.
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