A letter from January 3rd, 2019

See you in a Year A letter to future me Hey, me, How’s it going? I’ve had a rough year this past 12 months, and I’m really hoping that I’ve gone through enough for both of us, and that your year has been spared all of the pain and stress that I had. It’s your turn to take us forward, because old, passive me couldn’t get very far on her own. I am excited to grow into you, and live you, for the next year, until I finally get to meet you next January. You and I have our work cut out for us, but it’s going to be fun. I’m psyched to let myself enjoy life, to want to do things, to push myself to do more. I can’t wait to be wanted, and to want people, to have physical contact and the touch of someone I care about. I can’t wait to stand on my own two feet and support myself. I’m so psyched to have only myself to answer to. That first weekend where I wake up and think, I have no plans, and I have enough money in my bank to hop on the tube and go browse the galleries in London… that’s going to make me feel so warm, fulfilled, whole. Maybe you can treat yourself to a nice brunch before you set off too. Perhaps you’ll meet someone there, if you’d like to. I know you’re going to kick 2019’s ass so I don’t need to write down the anxious shit that’s going on around here right now. That’s my problem, not yours. By the time that life creeps on forward to you-time, things are going to be easy breathing. Man, your 2020 goals list is going to be fierce. I bet we’re going to some pretty great places. You’re going to sleep with some incredible women. Drink morning coffee outside in some beautiful locations. Botanical gardens, ski slopes, galleries. You got another whole year to do you and do it so well. You’re 30. I know you hit 30 looking even hotter than 29. Your hair must be pretty awesome by now. If not, get it restyled, new you 2020! You’re young and healthy and focused. I hope you’ve not made too many mistakes this year, for your sake. We’ve done enough of that, in our time in this body, don’t you think? Remember the people that are here for you, too. I wonder how much of this year you let people in to share your journey. I hope you didn’t sink back into feeling alone, like your life is a solo mission of shame. Remember how everyone stood up for you and believed in you? They still do. Maybe reach out to them, and thank them for their support. Thank you for your support. Having you in my mind as my future is so encouraging, pushing me to get on with shit, because no-one but us is going to fix all this shit. I got you, because I know you’ve got me, and future me, and so on. We got this, and the better I do, the better you can do, and together we are going to be so fucking formidable. I hope you enjoyed the year of meals I made you. I hope I taught you some new skills and took you to some new places. I hope you build on those and have new things to teach future me. Congratulations on everything you’ve achieved. No worries about the stuff you had to put on time out. I can pick up the slack when I tag back in for 2020. I wonder how much of your resolution bingo board you managed to fill out. Hopefully most of it, as it had some great ideas on there - achievable shit for us to do and feel great. Next years is going to be even more ridiculous, I bet. We got this. Thanks for everything. Love and respect.