A letter from January 7th, 2019

Dear FutureMe, Last year was one of the roughest, it was stressful, chaotic, challenging, disappointing and yet one of the greatest! It was a year of clarity, about myself, life, friendships and people in general. It gave chances, many of them, to try and experience things I never knew existed! To break and fix things, it gave me the chance to be right, to be praised for the achievements and success that I did and to be also blamed and confronted for all the wrongs that I did, and I honestly couldn’t be more thankful for both. Last year also made me lose parts of me, parts of my identity or so I think, I am no more of an optimistic as I used to be, nor as caring, I am not doing the things I love with same passion and energy, I’m becoming short tempered with very high expectations, easy to let down and easier to break. Last year also gave me the most precious unexpected gifts, I couldn’t have asked for a better companion than he is, a very warm understanding heart that loves for all that I am and I could never imagine this life without him. So please take care of him and love him as much as you can, as long as you’ll ever live. I am now much stronger on my own, I learned how to be a loner, someone with a mission to do, someone with somewhere to go to, with work that has to be done. And I also learned how to be lonely, to think of everyone I know and not have a single one of them to talk to at 11:25 p.m or even a.m. I learned that my mom is the only one who loves me unconditionally, she would do everything she can for me and I need to appreciate that more. I learned that sometimes it can get too late to fix things. So future me, Regardless of all of that mentioned above, I know I’ll get through it all, but I also would like to ask you to forgive me if I couldn’t, and to still be happy, energetic and energizing as I’ve always known you, I know most of your energy is affected by those around you, choose wisely and if you couldn’t, be the source. Love me no matter what, forgive me for all that I did and for all that I’ll do, this life is long and 23 years is a very long time which allows for so many mistakes that I cannot carry and remember for the upcoming years. I hope you can still find it in your self to love, to accept and be kind to people. To be angry with yourself when you can’t, and to forgive it when you learn your lesson. Give your self infinite chances and don’t give up too soon, you have done and will do so much more than you’ll ever imagine. Please pleas please Take it easy on myself, take it easy on my heart And love love love no matter what.