A letter from January 31st, 2019

Dear FutureMe, Happy birthday if you’re still alive. I’m sending this e-mail to only one year ahead but I know that so many things can change in such a small bit of time - even though you think nothing really changes in your life. But are you really sure about that? It’s the beginning of 2019 now and you had a great 2018; admit it. Visiting all those bucket-list countries? Listening to all those all-time-fav bands live? Getting great messages and a huge show of love from your students? Come on, it’s a big deal. I always thought that nothing in the future interests me specifically but as I’m writing these I realized that I am actually wondering what you’re up to. Are you still teaching? Have you moved out? (oh i hope yes) Are you still continuing your going-nowhere-but-I-cant-end-it relationship? Were you able to get over your social anxiety? Have you started to smile more as the society commands? Have you stopped body-shaming yourself? Did you get more friends? (I advise you to do so, because you will need them) Are you still stuck with the music genre that you’ve been listening to for over a decade? Do you still like your hair short? Did you manage to learn Spanish? (please say yes, or sí) Do you still get suicidal often? Did you sleep with someone or are you keeping up with “I don’t like myself so nobody will like me” kind of thoughts? Do you have a niece/nephew and if yes do you REALLY like them? You started a travel blog with your friend last year, is it still on? How are things with that friend by the way? Have you sustained the mental and emotional stability to get a puppy yet? Do you have a double bed? I have lots of questions to ask but there is one more to check if it still hurts: Does every song you listen to still remind you of him? So, tell me, does it still hurt?