A letter from March 1st, 2019

Dear FutureMe, I’m proud of you. Whatever college you’ve decided to attend, whatever friends you’ve decided to keep, whatever memories you’ve decided to make, I’m proud. If I know myself, no matter how much I might change with a little under two and half years left of highschool, you need to hear it. You are amazing. Anyways, I have a few questions for you. Actually, I have a million, but I’ll keep it short for your sake and mine. While I write this, I am struggling to find myself- where exactly I fit in. Do you know where that is yet? Do you know who that is yet? AP Bio is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and no matter how hard you try, I can’t seem to get ahead. How did that go? Are you okay? I suppose the real question is are you ever. I know its school soccer season right now. Are you a captain yet? Did you continue with club? Are you going to miss it? I’ve never had a real job. Have you? Do you enjoy it? I am indecisive about even the smallest of things. I have no favorite color, no favorite song, no favorite outfit or memory… Have you grown out of that yet? Do you think you will ever? You and I both know I do stupid things all the time. What’s the stupidest thing I’ve done since I wrote you this letter? Do you regret it? Be honest, are you embarrassed of me? It’s okay if you are, I’m embarrassed of my freshman self and that’s only a year in passing. What do you wish you could tell me if you could tell me anything? Why? Would you do anything differently? I have never been in love. Have you? Do you regret whatever your answer is? I’ve got no idea where I’m headed. Do you know who you want to be, what you want to do? I try my best to not regret anything I do. Have I held to that? What do you regret? Did you ever actually get anything out of lunch detention? No matter your answers to any of these, you’re doing amazing and I want you to know that I love you. I hope you’re truly happy with both life and who you are. I hope you feel free and that you are satisfied with not only who you are but everything around you. I cannot tell you how petrified I am at the thought of stepping blindly through this life until I stumble upon where I am meant to be. But, truthfully, nothing exhilarates me more than the journey I will take to become you. Embrace the change, do what terrifies you, and never turn down an adventure. I cannot wait to meet you, - P