A letter from May 7th, 2019

Dear older Gabrielle, While writing this, it is May 7th, 2019. I have 12 days till I graduate high school, 19 days until moving to Utah, and a lot of crazy changes ahead. (I hope all these work out by the way) I have been taking Interpersonal Communication at Front Range Community College. I have zero clue what I am going to do about a job or college after the move, but I do know that I will be a better communicator now that I have taken this class! There are some things about communication that I really love and some that I really don’t. There’s a pattern or game to it that I absolutely don’t want to play, but I can’t control everything. After all, my communication with others is literally producing reality for all involved. I love that thought. I wish I could remember everything I have learned in this class because I really think it’s important and life changing for some. I am going to share with you some of my favorite things I have learned. Cool thing #1: You cannot completely stop communicating, at least while alive. It’s like a heat always sending out heat. It will affect all around it. Like good or bad vibes; they are always flowing. We are always, ALWAYS changing and impacting everyone around us. That thought makes me want to hyperventilate, but I guess I’ll just have to suck it up. (Lol) Being human allows us to get a lot of cool information about other humans! Including how easily we can impact people’s self concept and self esteem. And as Cinderella would say, “Have courage, and be kind.” Cool thing #2 We are a very hypocritical people and kinda need to get over ourselves. Intent does not ensure impact. We have to deal with what becomes of our vibes regardless what we wanted to have happen. That’s just a hard truth. There is so much power in spoken words (verbal communication) no wonder people have designed a magic around it. Our brains have assumed many things and created options for us just because that’s what it does. We should always be working to keep those in check. We really don’t want our implicit personal theory’s to stop us from being caring or kind because of some stupid something it wanted to hold onto. We need to be aware. Cool thing #3 You don’t have to be so freaking scared of change or different things. The brain kinda plays into that fear because it’s easy or the safer option. Just know that in Knight and Day, the word safe meant you were going to die. So be a little risky won’t ya! ACTUALLY SOMETHING TO WATCH OUT FOR #1: Don’t over analyze everything, especially people because they don’t do the make sense by thinking thing. They just don’t. As of now, I have never had a romantic relationship. Rhodes times in high school when you thought it might be flirting do not count! (Lol) When you do find you a guy, know that you can’t solve him with numbers or graphs and lines and other things that make sense, because he just often won’t. You won’t either, it’s literally because you are human. Everything I learned in this class was about how things are on a continuum, ever changing, or just bouncing around where the heck it feels like. It’s not perfect and that’s really okay. Cool thing # 4: Be crazy considerate, but also don’t take people’s crap. It’s like that saying you found on Pinterest once, “ Do no harm, but take no crap*” Perception is different person to person. Language changed how you can convey things, which change how you co-create reality. They are so many variables that change everything: Age, culture, PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, Socioeconomic status, pretty much everything! BUT, we are smart enough as people to figure it out between us. So be considerate, but don’t let people be dumb. Because P.S. tip #1: brains are wired to literally take to shortcut or dumb way so that’s what most people do! Cool thing #5: Tension and conflict are actually awesome things. Typing that literally gave me stress, but it’s true. You know how you have tight muscles in your neck because of stress? And you know how people say, “ we’re tight!” ? Well, maybe people don’t really say that much, but still! It tension that can bring a whole lot of good for people. The push in pull is needed in our lives. Surprise! You actually already know that having friends or being a part of a family or what not can have lots of tension and conflict, but P.s. tip # 2 You should actually continue walking head first right into it and you will come out, probably emotionally exhausted, but better off, probably. Cause I just know that the weird spins and dance moves I do to not face conflict really has just caused me a lot of more problems, let alone cramps from walking so weirdly. ACTUALLY SOMETHING TO WATCH OUT FOR #2: Make sure people are worth it. It doesn’t change their personal value for them to not be a good addition to your life. Kindness is confetti though. It need to be everywhere, but people are not always good for you. Give them a chance, but take no crap. ;) Cool thing #6: The professor mentioned that in the face of conflict he goes to his default and has to crawl up the mountain to the better behavior that he knows about every time. So… get ready for the crawl. Hard usually = better or worth it. P.s. tip #3 You can study all this stuff (interpersonal communication etc) your whole life and still suck at it. So DON’T study it your whole life!!! Practice it. Try it. Do something that’s a little uncomfortable because you know it’s right! And hey, Cool thing #7: I believe in you. Um “Have it all” by Jason Mraz. Hard thing are probably coming, but insanely good things are too! God’s got your back and he love you! Score! Que sera, sera. You can do it! You CAN (enter anything you are dealing with here)! Hehe. Love ya, babe. With buckets of snuggles, The 18 year old you