A letter from May 7th, 2019

Dear FutureMe, We have a week left of school, well more like four more days of dead week, and then its finals week of my first year in college. Its raining and the flowers smell so good and I have been so homesick and I miss my parents a lot. I am so content and it honestly just makes me cry. I'm just sitting in my chair underneath my bed, i have the taste of sour cream and onion pringles on my tongue, and the pressure of too much water in my stomach and the window is open letting the yells of people on the IM fields in. The room is getting dark and the light thats shining down on my isn't the gentlest. And yet, I know in my heart that I'm going to miss this. I'm going to want this back some day. (yes, I may have Trace Adkins's song stuck in my head). I feel like in this moment I have so much nostalgia for this very moment. I don't know how else to say it, but I wanted to tell you because I know you will understand. I've felt a lot more free lately. A lot more tired too, but I've been dancing in front of the mirror a lot and listening to my favorite songs and I feel like I have so much love inside of me its bursting through the seams. I feel so romantic and just like a bittersweet sort of sad. I hope when you read this you remember this night, but you probably won't because its just a normal night in the dorms. Just know that I love you and I will do anything for you to make you happy. Just remember to go dance in the rain and to smell the flowers because there are way too many goodbyes in this world and you never know when the final one will be. I love you, Yours truly.