A letter from October 9th, 2019

Hi Future Me, After completing the course I want to feel relieved that I have tried my best. I want to be honest with myself and others. I want to believe in Meditation and Morning and Night Rituals. I would like to continue education by reading more self-help books, although I don't love reading. I am behind on the coursework and still drinking after Day 13. I don't want to feel the shame and anger towards myself that I feel now due acting like a fool last weekend, lforgetting where I hid my wallent (including David's credit cards) and losing my Apple watch. I don't sneak drinks and lie and numb myself. I want David to remove the tracking device in my car and trust me enough not to screw up. I am also scared of what will happen with my legal issue...if I am convicted what does that mean to my life and career. I want my family and friends to trust me and believe in me. I would like to know how to (begin to) make ammends with my sisters and Pat and Derek. I want to feel at peace with myself instead of the constant fear of myself and the anxiety that causes. I to be healthier, practicing a healty lifestyle that includes exercise and lots of water. This is not going to be easy and if I don't 100% succeed, at least I tried something new on my own. I don't want the course to end with nothing changing in me. Be kind to yourself. Stop trying to please everyone because it is exhausting and you are guaranteed to fail, which can cause a vicious cycle of events. Good luck!