A letter from October 22nd, 2019

Dear FutureMe, Whenever your down and you feel like you don’t matter in this world- Remember the love that you had and you cherished, not how you fucked it up. Its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all... side note- you’re writing this as you’re crying in your love’s arms. he’s sleeping and he asked me to spend the night with him. I was so happy, because he blocked me on Sunday morning- october 20th, 2019. It is now Tuesday and I had an amazing night with my love. For a night, I didn’t feel like dying. I was complete again. I think I’m crying right now because I know this doesn’t change anything for us, and that once he wakes up and I leave- back to normal again. Me acting like he doesn’t mean anything and him, trying to forget me. He still despises me and wants to be alone. I don’t blame him. Hopefully, you’re a wiser person when you get this letter. Love yourself. That’s where you went wrong in the first place. You’re a fuck up, accept it and move on. You’re also a beautiful person, and a fuckup. :))) I hate hating myself.. Also- when you get this letter, the date you receive it on is five days after the anniversary when he realized you’d given up. He wrote you a note and its in your notebook. Hold onto that and learn from your mistakes. You killed him..