A letter from October 25th, 2019

Dear FutureMe, i don't get it, i tried everything i could to get him back. all i wanted to see was if we could work. what happened to us and what happened to me. i've become this emotional wreck obsessed with the way i was thought of by others. i wanted to make him jealous i wanted to make him want me. and i tried i really tried to make him jealous. i touched other boys and i spoke to them like i saw something in them. but it was all for him. now im not so sure he really gave it much thought when i held their hands like i wanted his. im done. i tried for you and now im done. the best i can do now is wait and see what happens because i gave it my best and now im tired and im hurt. the way you act about me, the horrid words you say about me. i am done. if you want me, please try harder. please try as much as i did. i truly hope you succeed. i hope you have the strength and the heart to try when i've given up. just know i really wanted you.