A letter from January 30th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, happy 23rd birthday. As I am writing this letter I can’t help but to reflect on our past birthdays. Remember all those times « happy » wasn’t what our birthdays were ? Yeah me too. But look at you, one year ago today, you managed to have a good time with a friend that you love and care for despite having almost died few months prior. Last year was a happy birthday of not crying, not being overly depressed, not hidden in your bed fully aware that today is not to be celebrated because you were an accident. And that’s why I’m sending you this letter. Because from now on, there will never be anymore sad birthdays like that. I think you have realised that (since I’m writing it) life is short, somehow precious (yeah we still depressed tho) and I don’t want to dwell anymore on how my/your existence was a mistake. Or at least, let’s make the most of this mistake by being a little less sad. You still have friends that loves you (even though I damn well know you think they hate you), you have your parents (even though they are imperfect they are trying their best), you have your amazing baby brother who needs you there with him and love you more than his words can translate. You have all that love around you, don’t let it die. Just keep going. You matter, your life matters. Just remember that. I wish you well for this 23rd year. So, happy birthday future me.