A letter from March 13th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Today is March 12th, 2020. The world is in a frenzy due to the coronavirus. I didn't leave my apartment today, but I also have reached a point where I am sincerely not "scared" of this virus. I've had a lot of conversations today about this virus. I believe that one of the great tragedies of this crisis is that in the midst of pandemonium, there is no central medical authority serving to calm the fears of the public. Of course, this is a serious virus, and any event that leads to a premature end to life is cause for concern. However, if initial data are to be trusted, the mortality rate is relatively low (3%, which is likely a skewed figure in itself, given that in China many people have compromised respiratory systems [cigarettes], and the disease appears to have the greatest impact on the elderly). Why does our country not shut down when there is a particularly virulent strain of influenza? Why not cancel all Universities when we recognize that nearly 50,000 Americans die each year due to suicide? Or the nearly 900,000 people dying of cardiovascular disease every year in the USA? Heath Ledger's Joker sums it up perfectly: "Nobody panics if things are going 'according to plan,' even if the plan is horrifying." Today, I hope to resolve within myself, to not live my life in fear of the "what if?" Throughout my life, I have found myself going down the rabbit holes of 'what if?' "What if I never get into med school, and I have to compromise for some career that I don't feel fulfilled by, and my life is plagued by sadness and regret?" "What if I get the coronavirus, and because I had asthma as an adolescent, I am the outlier, and as a young person I AM actually at a seriously elevated risk, and then I contract the virus and develop pneumonia, which progresses to acute respiratory distress syndrome [ARDS], and the hospitals are overbooked with patients, so I don't get the care I need, and I go into shock, and die??!" It is natural to be risk-averse; coded into our genome by evolution throughout millions of years of evolution. There is no reason to take excessive, 'unnecessary' risk in your life, unless you are seeking thrill for the sake of thrill itself. However, our time on this earth is limited. One of the great mysteries of humanity is that we DO NOT know the future, and we are able to watch the story of our lives unfold in front of us. I sincerely believe that this pandemic will be (mostly) well-controlled and that the world will emerge wiser from it. Of course, lives will be lost, which is a tragedy, and if it happens to be personal, I will be devastated. But it is important to me that I take time to step back, in the midst of pandemonium. To recognize that living life in fear provides little benefit and in the grander picture, and mostly serves to prevent an individual from pursuing their greatest passions, all in the name of 'safety.' As I sit here today, I am at peace with the uncertainties that my future holds. "Will I be accepted to that year-off research program in St. Louis?" "Will my loved ones be infected with this virus?" "Will I finally find a girlfriend in the next year (lol)." My faith in God and my faith in humanity helps me to be at peace with this uncertainty. What fun would there be if we knew exactly the way in which every situation would pan out? Vegas wouldn't even exist! I pray that the world is able to find peace in this time of turbulence. That we may be guided by rationality and compassion, and that we can learn from our mistakes as we move forward. -WNJ Jr.