A letter from March 13th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I hope you're well. I've been putting off writing this letter because I want it to be perfect, but that's exactly what the problem is: I need to stop wanting to be perfect, I just need to get things done. We can think about editing and perfecting it AFTER it's finished. On the way home, I remembered that I am constantly changing and I won't be the same person as I was yesterday and I certainly won't be the same person as I am now when this letter reaches the me that is you now. Therefore, I have made the decision to reinvent myself. I was watching Ralph Fiennes' GQ interview and I really like his voice and how poised and how he conducts himself and though I want to become like him, I don't want to lose how I am able to make people comfortable around me by being myself - a friendly, oversharer. I need to find a healthy middle ground. I signed up for the big white wall for some counselling, but I'm not sure how to navigate the site and I think I'm okay. I have issues that I need to explore and accept, but I think I can do that by myself, which is ironic because I felt hurt when those two blocked me and left me alone. Haha. Anyway, I've decided a couple of weeks ago that I need to start doing things by myself more often. I like being by myself (thanks to my aquarius placements) and I'm going to a concert by myself on the 25th to see Griff. Am I still listening to her? I love myself. There's no doubt about it. I do. But I also need to know who I am again. I want to start relying on myself more. I want to find a useful hobby. The trouble is that I'm good at everything. And if you laugh when you read this, know that I'm writing this with a straight face and I'm completely serious. But I want a hobby that I can make money out of - and of course, humble brag about. I want to start writing a short story. I'm not sure what it's going to be about yet but hopefully by the time this letter reaches you, it will have already been written. I want to get fitter and eat healthier. I want to stop being so afraid of making mistakes. That's a big one. I'm afraid of failure. We both know this. Obviously, I know this isn't going to happen overnight and I haven't thought of how to build good habits to turn me into the person I want to be, but it's still early days. Anyway, I hope you're okay and not drowning in assignments. STOP PROCASTINATING! Have nice day. Love you. Love You of the past.