A letter from March 8th, 2020

to whoever i am when the cage doors fly open, you made it. you made it. you made it. i hardly thought i'd make it this far, but you...? you're something else, hellion. whether kashmir or miles or sara or casey or whoever a year's time brings you, you are alive. you are alive. you are alive. you are alive. i hope you've got yourself sorted out. i hope you've come to terms with the circumstances surrounding you. i hope you don't have any illnesses or afflictions (not that they'd really stop you, anyway). a lot happens in a year, a week, a day, an hour, and i'm sure you've been through a lot of ****. i hope you're with someone you love, whether romantically or platonically, and i hope you've kept those that are good for you close to your heart. if you haven't, and something's going on, get over yourself. humble yourself. apologize. if it isn't your fault and you feel that weight saying, "this isn't meant to be the end," reconcile. try again, differently. you can do it, and you can do it better this time. i think i know the things that should be said in this letter, but they aren't really coming to me. any other time i'd have every word lined up perfectly, but you know how it is. i'll always look back and think, "ah, ****, i should have said this, or added this part." don't live like that. don't settle for less. don't take no for an answer. don't overthink it. hold hands. smile. kiss. hug. restart, every day you can. remember to keep noticing the little things from this point on, 'cause the world is really yours now. you're at the top of the mountain, and the trek down is gonna look a helluva lot different than the hike up. appreciate that. you lived this long to appreciate that. you waited this long. don't **** it up. hopefully ru's still around. hopefully you made up with rudy. but don't date him again, because you're an idiot. maybe you and tyler are better friends now, too. hopefully he didn't pull a complete fast one on you. even if he did, it happens. it happens. keep on. hopefully shelby and lydia and audre and ashton are doing good. a few cents for alec, too, if he deserves 'em. hope so. i'm sure you have new friends by now, too. say hello to 'em for me. retroactively. hiya to all the residents up top. there's a lot of **** i can write in this, but none of it will matter today. go get that tattoo. go cut your hair. make a tinder. go to planned parenthood. listen to cg5's sweden. the world is yours, so own it. you are free. free at last. free at last. free at last.