A letter from March 26th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Today is day 12 of lockdown in California for COVID-19. Yesterday, was a hard day for you. You found yourself sobbing off and on throughout the day, and you couldn't quite put your finger on why. You thought you were suffering from a ****** up mix of stress, PTSD, anger, anxiety all at once. Rob did his best to talk about it with you, but you couldn't find the words for what you were feeling. All that would come out were sobs. It's a weird feeling for you, because you're normally a really upbeat, optimistic person. This feeling of depression is new for you. You were laid off too, just before all of this happened. And you've noticed that your interviews have suddenly gotten quiet. The jobs that were open, suddenly up and closed. You're a top candidate from a transportation company's marketing team, but it's still not a sure thing—yet. Each night you go to bed praying it comes through because if it doesn't, you're not sure what you're gonna do. Your severance is drying up come April. As for what you're feeling, a few friends shared this article around and it finally put words to the emotions. Really, at the end of the day, it's grief. https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Kessler: Yes, and we’re feeling a number of different griefs. We feel the world has changed, and it has. We know this is temporary, but it doesn’t feel that way, and we realize things will be different. Just as going to the airport is forever different from how it was before 9/11, things will change, and this is the point at which they changed. The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air. I'm here to tell you that the next few months are going to be hard. The US just overtook China as the leading hot spot for COVID-19 cases, and the President REFUSES to shut down the country or implement the Defense Production Act which would require companies to stop their day to day production, and pivot to making PPE for hospitals. As for today, there are cases in the US 85,653 US, majority are out of NYC, but they say LA is the next hot spot. They say the next 14 days is when we're really going to see the results of it's spread. Right now it's incubating, so soon everyone is going to be coming out of the woodwork for hospital care. You and Rob have been diligent and not left the house for the last 15 days. If you keep doing what you're doing (staying inside at all costs), then you will be ok. Control what you can control, you tell yourself. I'm proud of you for also using this time to check in more often with loved ones. And when this **** all stops, you'll get a chance to go meet you niece in Canada finally. I promise. Talk soon, stay strong, wash your hands, put your phone down. The phone one especially. The news is giving you some PTSD. Trust me. Strategic ignorance is ok right now. Xoxo Future you