A letter from April 1st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Oh my God, you just received a letter from last year that outlines details about all the guys you were in love with up until that point. You are a hilarious goddess, goddammit! And at the end of that letter, you asked yourself to write another one just like that, this time about the newer guys - what a player. So here goes nothing... So first things first, the teacher thing - that would have been scandalous, my very own version of gossip girl. That obviously, and thank God, didn't work out. You eventually grew out of your feelings for him and that's perfect - that's some character development - learning how to move on. He had transferred to some new city or so I've heard without even bidding his students a good-bye - I'd have expected that much from such a great teacher but it's alright. The guy from work, that didn't work out. The whole thing about loving the 'accidental' touches at work, yeah, those were not okay and you were right about him. He was just not the kind of guy you were looking for. You probably will never want a guy like that anyways. There are two types of guys, those that you can have fun with - temporarily; like this one. And then those that you can't have fun without - like a future husband. That's the kind of guys you are going for now - and boy, oh boy, you have someone in your sights. The guy/man at the train station, that obviously didn't work out. I mean he's still there and you guys are still making the random eye contacts - since A YEAR. But I didn't expect that to go anywhere anyway. It would, however, be a cute story for your kids if you were to have some with him in the future, HAHAHA. Dream on, bitch. That dude in my lectures! I now know his name and his course. I'm still pretty attracted to him and sometimes when I used to catch him watching me from the corners of his eyes, I used to get a sense that our attraction was mutual. But neither of us spoke up and that went nowhere. Tragic. We're not going to talk about both the guys from school. They were both not worth the time and affection you wanted to give them. This year, I am a new person - somewhat. I am starting to realise the difference between liking someone and liking something in someone. For instance, the new clinical supervisor at university, I like him and although I did want to know whether or not he was engaged, married, whatever; I didn't have a strong sense of wanting to be with him. I realise now that he's got a personality that I would simply adore - he's a doting father, he talks like he loves his wife, he is smart, kind and so funny! Pretty much everything a girl could want. (Also, he lives in the posh-people area and drives a BMW so...). I am starting to develop extremely strong feelings for Jonathan however. I am scared of how fast I am falling for him. He is so nice and the last 2 or 3 letters are all about him so you already have an idea. But yes, I really just want to have him for myself - I wish with all of my heart that this actually happens. If it does and he is around you right now, go give him a kiss and tell him that you love him. If that doesn't work out, and you remain single for another year after you're 2 decades old - then we know the drill. Give your future self an update about the new boys on your list! But do tell me how it goes with Jono, I'm hopeful about this one! When everything else fails, remember how much you love yourself, you little narcissist. Oh and happy April Fool's day! Love, you.