A letter from April 14th, 2020

Min älskade Omar. I have lived in the apartment for a month now and it’s getting better day by day. Things are starting to fall into place, and even though you’re not here yet I can see in front of me what a wonderful life we will build together. We already have a stellar dog and four well-behaved houseplants, a full pantry and a cozy bed. With you here, it’s going to be a perfectly imperfect and complete home. I wonder if we’re still vegan when you get this letter or if we got tired of my experimental cooking along the way. I hope we are though! Otherwise, future selves; get a hold of yourselves NOW and go watch the documentaries on Netflix when you’re finished reading this! If you still are vegans, go buy some fresh mangos to reward yourselves. Great work and I’m proud. Today was an especially good day, because you received your SVENSKA LÄKAR LEGETIMATION! Amaaaazing work babe! As soon as this quarantine is over I expect you to come here and get curing and healing. I know you’re getting restless in Rabat, and I’ve missed you enough over here. Fingers crossed you get a job that you love (hopefully in Ängelholms hospital so you have a 5 min commute). I’m so proud of you. You have worked so hard for this achievement, from the moment you started until today. I can imagine it has been quite the journey, and who would’ve guessed when you started that you would end up here with me? In a small city where everyone speaks funny, with a quirky Swedish girl and her even weirder dog? Anyway, we are so glad to have YOU in our lives. I couldn’t imagine a better companion and future father to my children. My sunshine, my lovebug, my man. I’m writing this letter today because I’ve been thinking about our relationship a lot lately. I spend every day with myself and my thoughts. I believe we’ve spent more time apart than together at this point, and we didn’t get a chance to really date and build it up. Although it was commitment from the start, I think neither of us would’ve had it any other way. And when you think about it, it’s not necessarily a bad thing, as we are forced to trust, love and communicate regardless of the circumstances. I hope the quarantine is over by the time you read this. I hope you still find me beautiful when I wake up with a face crinkled by the pillow, and not in a selfie that took me 20 attempts to achieve. I hope you have patience with my unpredictable morning mood and my dogs farts when we’re chilling together on the couch. I wonder if you have changed your name to Oscar yet. What I fell for in you, was the safety you provided for me. You adored me and supported me and allowed me to be exactly who I am. Considering my stormy past, this came as a huge relief. It didn’t just show me how it feels to be loved by another person, but also how it feels to love myself. I’ve found an incredible strength and courage in this, and it has made me hopeful that life can be just as wonderful as we talked about on our cozy(-crazy) picnic dates in Paris. I love you so much. Here’s to us, and another year of living, learning and thriving together. Your Evis