A letter from April 21st, 2020

Dear Future Me, It's only been about 11 months since I wrote this, but it's going to seem like so much longer. Today is Sunday March 14th 2021, your 20th birthday. Hopefully you have no mid terms and you're hungover because you went out to Cowboys last night. So I want to tell you what's going on as I write you this. I've just recently told some of the girls that I'm bisexual and they're okay with it. I told them mainly because I'm falling for someone and I can really see it going somewhere. Lindsay is an amazing person and she cares about me more than I think she should considering how long we've been talking. She wants to know everything about me and I want to know everything about her. I could see myself loving her and having her as my girlfriend. I just don't know how I'll do it and I'm worried I'll be the reason it doesn't work out. Covid-19 has fucked up my life a lot and taken away so much, especially the last month of my first year of university. I have gained so many friends that I will be so lucky to see again in the fall, once this is all over. It was hard having to say goodbye to residence and university so early, even when I didn't get proper goodbyes with many of my friends. Grandma is doing alright, we still can't visit her because they are on lock down but it is for the best. However, the longer I go without seeing her the less likely it is that she'll remember me once I am able to visit her. It's something that is inevitable and I hate to say it but I hope it will all be over soon. I hope you've made countless memories in the past couple of months, as well as found happiness. I know you've probably struggled with that but you also already have a great support system around you. When you are reading this, Ellen will already be gone and I know it probably still sucks but I also know you're trying your best to stay in contact with her. Don't feel obligated to go out, if you have prior commitments, need to study, or just don't feel up to it. Yeah you may miss out on some fun but remember, your education is still very important. Also I hope you haven't felt pressured into doing anything this past year just to make someone else happy. I know you put other people's feelings before yours, but hopefully you're working on that. I know deep down that you care about what people think about you, but their opinions don't matter whatsoever. Do not doubt yourself and continue to push through all of the obstacles that are put in front of you. I know how strong you can be, when you have to, but also don't scared to not be okay. I love you. Jeremiah 29:11 Romans 15:4 From 19 year old you