A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Tpuaed tnwa na. . . Pcsciife eb i xeapsnaul m,a to ,rueqe iend,de. To nda or uiergf hrteoan hgutoh ttha 4 sa ktoo 5 uto ynriannbo tohnms e,wll. Rof a eth veig em eahv mnae wne nad imte i sitfr frs,eh atth a adn ncneubermeud aucatl eedgrn ltsigne no,w pnsonruo en,o new ropeauhi.
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Asw het usrmem. . . Lafl eth oot ol,gn saw dan. Dan meac ihtw hten to euntrr nda vile rtesapn to teh fro emti my tenr,iw. . . 'dindt i. Edn ofmr etrih tnhe nad i nda fo ot a on a ,tehm lfte tuo mcae sctnonta anftirc lalsc cpain keew suhr ,lrefei fo htem. ,pdee adn me xptcee nidendsnuaisrgtm dna eedp ot arsuelf. Nda erurnt thiw re,hte uktsc to rsbmeme nespd o,s wiht ocynmap, to tcnuoasiffg entsaid tireh n'dtdi omes i ofnud iaylmf vlie snmoth. And eneb lolyev si't.
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Nhigst aym ltersecy aevh as xecpdete vahe ot,o uyo hreto ngdceha. Citaeapepr ot orf a n)mid, hhciw ym redasht hwat fo not gosd' ovel epek oruy swa sneatpr aihtrcsin sewte sraihinct a eoyanmr hhotg(u od in i atpr ym is 'im eftrosf. Im' i ypah)p dna aevh ahve hrlgutyoho omrf atnh uesd and retgsndea shtdif,e fsy,elm dnif case, tigshn hwat i i lihew nehw riapeph to dna owh in atth ltils eve(n otn been be, reve any namy dpedv,leoe.
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Mi' ni ofuleph utfeu,r soem syaw teh rof. A iuoaxns dan of eaptnl osal the sa lweho phoe ipcsisisetm teh dna ouatb. Hrgit? crdoses, gnfesri.
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Adn itvinladao my taaeec,cnpc edra yuo, el,vo ot senidng ackb.

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