A letter from May 12th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Good morning! It is day 453 of quarantine. Just kidding, it's only week 8. There may be many weeks and months of quarantine and social distancing to come. At least you have work to distract you, but registering 100 and something kindergarten students from home has its challenges. The weekends really get to you. This past Saturday was a mess. You woke up in a bad mood. Got upset at Dan's messy office. Went for a drive with him, but that only made you feel worse. You've developed some serious anxiety. Breathe. While cooking dinner, you messed up the recipe, knocked ALL the recipes out of the cook book and burned yourself. Dan was great. He was patient, kind, affectionate. He lets you sob into his chest while he cradled your head and comforted you. He may have flaws, although not many, and you two are good together. You should get this a week or two before your WEDDING! I hope it hasn't been postponed again, but if it has been, just get hitched. Wear that gorgeous dress and eat some good food, drink nice wine, fall in love with your new HUSBAND. You've waited for real love for SO LONG. Enjoy it. Celebrate it every fucking day that you're together. Life is too short. I wonder how long it'll be from now until you start trying for a baby? Probably not long. You and Dan have discussed it, you're both more or less ready. You really just would prefer to be married first. Every time you've written on of these before, it's been filled with angst and love gone wrong, bad days, etc. But you're actually better and happier than you've ever been (despite the quarantine blues.) You found yourself. You did that. It took A LOT of work and searching and telling yourself over and over and over not to be so hard on yourself. You've learned confidence, and you've leaved not to accept being treated like a second choice. You'll always have insecurities, but you're a good person. You learn from your mistakes and you try not to make them twice. You cannot undo your past, but you can be better now than you were then. I love you. Always have. Always will. Dan loves you too. Just remember, as nice as someone else's love is, you don't need it. There's always going to be more love in the world. What you do need, is to always believe in yourself. (Cheesy is still right sometimes.) Until we meet again (in the future,) B