A letter from May 19th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Question everything, the big the small and all aspects in between, then accept the answers. If there isn't an answer, accept that too. There are so many things in life that you aren't going to get an answer to, so it's better to spend your time accepting the answers you do get and the fact that many things just do not have a clear answer. Life is crazy and confusing and sometimes when you learn something new it can feel like your whole world is ending because you may have never looked at life that way before, but that's okay, it's all about learning. It's okay to challenge ideas as well, don't be so accepting of ideas that you may not agree with or find morally sound. This will allow you to find your morals and build upon your developing moral compass. Also, be open to loving everyone. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness, so please don't be so quick to jump to judgment. With that, it's necessary to be aware of the good and the bad. Don't allow others to leech off of you and take away that happiness you have been working so hard to grow inside of you. The bad things may feel crushing in the moment, but they will not define you and can allow you to learn. PLEASE allow yourself to continue to feel everything. Vulnerability is key to living your life unequivocally. Be open to learning, feeling, thinking, and questioning. Life isn't black and white, and it isn't gray either. It's a spectrum full of beautiful colors, tints, and shades. Take the time to soak up all of that color and let it paint your mind with insightfulness. I know you won't always have a positive outlook on life, your depression and anxiety will likely set in this semester because of the 20 credit hours, but don't let it consume you, let it push you to be better. Take the time to breathe, take in your surroundings, and accept imperfection. Strive for the enjoyment of learning for the sake of learning and find your passion for it again. Where's that little girl who would memorize body parts on her LeapFrog tablet or did the entire take-home math booklet your teacher gave you for the summer or who created the house with an elevator and your own electrical wiring or who would write thriller stories or who would create animations of a motorcyclist doing a wheelie or who made a Christmas ornament by mixing different chemicals? Think about how much enjoyment all those things brought you and manifest that into your life now. Not everything should be so hard and full of drudgery like it's felt for the past two semesters. Coming out of high school you were in a rut and never accepted the things in life that affect you because you believed you were above that, but that was far from the truth. You have grown so much in this last semester and I can't wait to see you thrive even more. Please, please, please take care of yourself. Your physical health is much more important to you than you realize, don't just sit around watching tik tok's or wallowing in the responsibilities you have but aren't doing. You'll be surprised how much easier life is when you take care of yourself. I can't wait to see all of your accomplishments this year (I really, really, really hope you are on campus right now) and take life by the reigns because you deserve a chance at happiness and to love yourself. Until next time :)