A letter from October 4th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, today is October 5th of 2020. I spent the entire day in bed, I am currently having a depression relapse, and I feel like I can’t rely on my friends for support, they are dealing with their own things and I need space right now, sadly some of them don’t understand and I am currently too tired to explain again. I am supper nervous about college. I start the day after tomorrow and I feel so sunken. That’s how I am doing emotionally. I am trying to create an app and I really enjoy technology stuff, I feel so smart and empowered and the bonus is that I can prove people wrong. I really enjoy expression through art and writing. This is what I see you doing. I wonder if we are okay, if you feel the same comfort that I feel when walking the avenue, when driving in the rain, when standing in a building and looking down at night and see the streets. I wonder if we share the same dreams, and goals, and values and friends. I wonder if we are intrinsically the same. I hope you are better, and you are doing better. But if we so happen to be the same, I’ll love you as much if we weren’t at all.

Epilogue

11 months later

We changed a lot, in ways that you would be so proud of....

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Btu to we dan mdeov dtaeh oodg niferd, nigaa ew nad llew ti idd ratsetd vyer dmea a libuemg taht ni ew vniueysrit os. .
Ont dhar het ttha ti utb og mynoa,re we ierfdns ryve dmae oru lte idn’dt enfrdsi ear wsa nueadsntdr to thme alvaelbu oals ones. .
Eb ew eettrb lislt mi’ to eoe,sismtm tsglegur tbu eerdyyva irygtn.
So ea,pdnehp chmu i’ts crzya. Fmeyls im’ ecpae itwh ta btu.
Eerbof sye and esatr i dan oitn orev vna,eue eht wsha sltli hnew aems home eht hte amse em as walk ainr enutrr tihw lte tghin i eth rcoomft.
So emsa ,anchedg that eth ’srethe utb mchu we aenrmsi yes. .
.
Eb lwil o!aky evnhyiegrt.
Lveo uyo i oto. .