A letter from October 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hey, I'll give you a little rundown of what's going on right now. I have court on the 15th where I testify for the first time. I decided to start visitation with Amanda again. I will no longer live with the Vaughns on November 1st. I still have therapy with Josh. I am on Zoloft still. I self-harmed a couple of days ago. I just deactivated my old Instagram, Facebook, and Gmail. I feel numb but also happy, I don't think that I am truly processing everything. CJ is in a shelter doing great, he called me three times in a row. I'm trying to finish up school so I can graduate next year. I haven't looked at colleges yet, and I'm contemplating joining the Air Force when I get out of high school. Now I have some questions 1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? 2. Is your relationship with Amanda good? 3. How many years did Spencer get? 4. Rate your anxiety and depression. 5. Are you happy? 6. What's a goal you have for the future? 7. Did you join the military? 8. Are you taking care of yourself? 9. Have you gotten better at singing? 10. Have you lost weight? 11. Have you stopped self-harming? 12. Suicidal thoughts? 13. Have you learned to love yourself? I don't know what else to say except that I hope that you are happy, and I mean TRULY happy. You have come so far and I hope you never stop moving forward in life. I love you don't you forget that.

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes, I do have a boyfriend now, his name is Devin and we've been seeing each other for...

A butoa nohtm nwo. . Era gigon ellw htgsin. Htwi im' ylrela to payhp be mhi. .
2. Si g?doo nhitpresloia ithw royu daaanm.
Esy wno,. Os dogo. Be lto a mom fo ot eerhw nedo tydao ash rowk she si. Ibngyu a sh'se uehso rylurcnte.
3. Hwo aynm e?tg seayr spnecer did.
I 3 sraey elivebe tgo eh. 'lhle eb osno tuo. .
4. Eatr tneyiax yoru dna ssonedepri.
Xteiyan tsmo si /501 dsya llew as 50/1 isepnserod. Efroeb htna ebtret.
5. Hpyp?a era uyo.
I y,se ma oh. I am laflyin.
6. Tf?ueur a tsa'wh fro veha uoy gola eth.
I nda osoclh to ntaw rofest oesyoclogtm rahi ibard to c'nedslihr go.
7. Aimlyr?it ojni ddi ouy eht.
Ikd ,on ntd'o yuo lol yatinxe veha rloyfseu eno,eiprssd dna.
8. Uyel?fsro aer caer fo uyo gintak.
Fo srot. Ot inytgr. I 'im sesl fet-eslha twih gth,ouh teterb hnat aws.
9. Noegtt ta sggni?ni veha uyo berett.
Dya ihknt i ebrtet ahve, i sget rahe it eveyr i.
01. Oyu stlo veha ?wiegth.
A tlo. Hent mi' swa 108 gstinit 031 nwo uotab i rlruylaeg ta.
11. Mlshea-f?ngri dptsoep hvae ouy.
Sey. Sontmh and lena!c 1 yaer am 6 i.
12. Guoth?sth uciialsd.
Sa emoc tyeh go dan u,mch od ton. .
13. ?solyufer to oyu ehva darenel voel.
Ot ot nrgsitat how alren m'i. . . A eb a ayd t'is osdneiic eyvautnlle eveyr wlli eerbze it. .

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