Time Travelled — almost 3 years

A letter from Aug 29th, 2021

Aug 30, 2021 Aug 29, 2024

Epilogue

Peaceful right?

Dear Steven of August 2024, I'm sitting here typing away at my desk behind the counter at the Residence Inn Springfield. I've finished up my homework for the evening- reading Peer Gynt for Modern Theatre class and finishing up some Shakespeare reading responses for Sarah's class. Alas and alack, I'm sure you look back on these days with a kind of weary fondness now, but let me assure you they weren't perfect. You spent most of your time, at least around now, either working, studying, or playing the rare video game. Horizon: Zero Dawn has been pretty solid- hope you got to play Forbidden West, and that it didn't suck. Where are you these days? Somewhere far away from Springfield, I hope. Maybe it's Chicago, New York, or LA. Or Kansas City, if you finally managed to make the theatre scene there work. Maybe you quit acting altogether. Hope you didn't. But if you did, I hope it wasn't just because you couldn't hack it. Because past you was pretty **** good at it, at least when he really put his back into it. Back in 2021, you were really, really worried about finding love. Like, really worried. You watched video essays about it, you read articles on the declining marriage rates, you begged your friends for advice. You spent long nights wondering if it would ever happen for you. You saw all your friends finding love pretty easily, wondering if there was something wrong with you. I don't know if you found it. I'm willing to bet you didn't. You haven't had great luck with your last few relationships. The first was abusive, the second not compatible; the third a perfect fit but you failed her in so many ways. The fourth was a lesbian. But at the very least, maybe you've made peace with a lifetime of loneliness. If you haven't, do so. Remember you aren't put on this Earth to receive love, but to give as much as you can to others. Unfortunately, future me, I'm sure the world at large has only declined in quality over the years. More climate crises, more politicians sticking their heads in the sand, more partisan division, more open conflict between radical groups on our own soil. Maybe a new war. Maybe a civil war. Regardless, I hope you've been able to keep your head on straight throughout it. Remember the words of the Stoics: what is survivable is a teacher, and what is not survivable is no longer of any concern to you once it's over with. Right now, the COVID-19 pandemic has flared up again with the dominance of new variants of concern like Delta and Lambda. I'm sure by then even more horrific variants appeared. In fact, if I had to hazard a guess, I bet you still aren't even done with the pandemic thanks to the idiocy of anti-vaxxers and right leaning "truther" groups. I hope you're weathering it okay, and that your loved ones are safe. I'm not a soothsayer for Christ's sake, so I'm sure there's all manner of unpredictable problems and joys that have snuck into your life for the last few years. You can do this. I need you to hold on. Because where I'm at, life is only kind of worth living. Remember that happiness is the fool's gold of life's true purpose, and the hidden truth us right there in front of you: that maybe life is worth living because the experience in and of itself is worth it. Until next time, Steven of August, 2021

Epilogue

12 days later

Steven of the past,

It's surprising to hear you talk with such reverence about your acting abilities, for starters. God how I wish I could reconnect to that old confidence....

Up bnee si wn,o uoy years teh aaugt,dedr tsi' nad owkr dynrgi cnesi. Busaoluf nrpctooisdu since yuo htis btu smoe bnee you aveh in stne. Tennccore evne a if mtseomn fo lmcasui! uoy esid ynol rnisge frebteis ot fo wiht yuoelfrs het hte rof ogt. Sles ot i ouy geertr imnrof ear idkn ni umch btu rlyofuse ot ftuer,u hte ouy. .
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Eibgn of atroc eno you wacht ccuesde gellint is on uoy aedha yuo na ouy ismle illw olehta is tuoba :ihts wath oepepl. Ese in lsasc will oeplep hucm you woh osra nt'did od syutabloel. Eth as lliw titdsan ahctw spta eth dafse oury tcerpes uoy prsee of slwyol ntio. Iameadacrre bltui fo the ohhtgut cspaeal umrebcl lwil ouy oyu nad iroemmes. And be nleoa oyu llwi.
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Ielbryrt erbty,irl oeanl. Aoctr eth suth youjnre fo teh is niwkorg. Nrhegia nntgaihy rouy llwi dtuaoinsi rfo hadae hnsmto asbh feobre uoy mnhtos nda ntaigsa. Rwok raybel you ta all. Tog tnea,g ngsiht ciwhh tub ni vue'yo 'eshs usoli irckyt ts na mskae. .
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Cntmieeetx tath oyu ldo turenr tgo,huh feel mmsoteise,. Aeysr ogngi sesheerkpaa in od y'reou ot yruo in 4220 owsh srfit. Athe a tnhe uloy'l thta rcnatcto ouery' amke hwti ot ienfrsd adugtrae nda ndgiir lfnloige l'luyo rtfsi igngo hihg ta. Ookb tciy uot thsus the ttha ouy hhgotru ni nitgnoh mkerat uybotsleal odmldusr ansska eusrff you a lyoul' erwhe. But aemk fiednrs gimnaaz ,there too eosm luyo'l. Adn taehpyr ti sstcki a ti hweil uyo nitlu rty t'odnes for. .
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Tbaou eetltr velo thgeln pesak ouy ta ni uory. Ratef igdon dgoo, sth,i erya a nlyunfi )hhu onit olgn neve oury we elfi, tno eortw aer furo hte enetr jtus ouy rhtnolapseii j(es,su fo nogestl oyu ,neugoh rveo hstmon ont. Knith hktni of tiwh ecut sleensonil ecpea u'vyeo ts'i a i itlmfeie uoy edma. Dy,dbu tub gkriwon ouy ti u'reyo no i!dtnd'. Thigm a levo uoy eon be loerbmp on aonymer so in lsafl ton answayy, it.
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Hte dolrw sa orf. . . No ouy opts erwe l,elw. Yb rdetsaerieto ady tamlcie hte yda. Ulerig gwrso teh irqeeut nad wthi lrantau the lrdow ady. It oyu tcaepeirap ouy but cna hewn. Won eht wasr ielnadesh enev and ******** inoeatdm. Het tquei 3202 aws dmi ltn,iu etpnto alreyl le,ki dpcnamie. Rou ti enrpted slitl deealrs dnede idd huthog lalyre nda nhast' it. .
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Nniteemts htta nac i isth i od raeeaptcip het. At tleas uoy ul,cdo. Ebne teh ot nikd htta cna n'tod of ungintr fi lgreno teh wnko yaers uhogne uoy uhcm uyo viusevr i hsa. Ti eth amy ont eprxcieeen eb ohwtr.
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Ehva wilhe i,t neyoj it uoy.
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0224 auu,sgt fo snveet.

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