A letter from Dec 31st, 2021

31.12.21 I write this to myself to actually live the life I want When I receive this mail I want to reflect where I stand, what I've achieved and what I still want to work on. My commitment for 2022 1. taking care of my mental health 
Practices: outside: walks in nature, drawing (flow state=forgetting time), conversations with good friends, rest, me-time yoga - movement - breathing deeply - being present - being in my body - let go of thoughts inside: feeling the whole spectrum of emotions - release them trough sound or movement - realizing: feelings will pass, nothing is permanent truly listen to my intuition and acting according to it observing my inner child thoughts - notice and switch them - positive and kind self talk mothering my inner child with kindness and forgiveness, I am not overlooking it but I value it, where I still need healing manifestation - holding my visions clearly - a regular practice Stand up for myself and my believes I speak up for myself when my values are hurt I’m safe when I’m in a conflict, it’s important to be honest, I want the same from other people, that’s called authenticity. I’m sharing my feeling with others, I’m safe when I do so. I am allowed to ask for help and support when I feel down and when I need comfort. I’m fully allowed to just be my authentic self with new people I meet. I’m letting them just meet me, and I do not need to be liked by everyone, because I also don’t like everyone. In interactions I’m more present and less in my head. I enjoy having conversations because I’m really listening what is said and I’m connecting with the other person. 2. Move on and let go of expectation and start taking decision exactly how I want to live life I have value and my work does too. I know the right company or person will see my value I have. I am worth it getting paid for, and they want me to be a part of their team because they truly see my value I have, that I can bring to the team. They care for me to grow, learn and get better and be really successful Remember; I am not a victim of my life and it’s circumstances. I hold the power to make decisions how I want to live my life. I do not own it to anyone to explain or justify my decisions. I own it to myself to live according to my needs and wishes. I am responsible for myself and I am very much capable taking care of myself. I deserve to be free and independent because that’s what I want. I am allowed to move on, to let go my familiar surroundings that I call home and leave this safety net which also keeps me stuck. Again I deserve to be free and independent, I am allowed to make mistakes. I am not obligated to live a certain way according to other people's expectations. I need to live life and make decisions exactly how I want. 3. Trust in life/universe, kindness with strangers Because I have trust in life, I know that the universe will send me all what I ask for. I no longer come from a place of fear. This is such a relief. I know all are equal, no one has more or less value than me. I’m also equal. I will meet everyone based off on love, trust and kindness. I’m seeing anyone I meet with an open mind and a kind heart. I know that deep down everyone longs so much for connection and love. I do not dismiss someone who is rude, cold or arrogant, I remember everyone longs for love, they just hide their pain and their behavior is always a reflections about how they feel about themselves. 4. I’m taking my creative career as a freelance photographer and creative seriously I’m putting effort and work into my career by meeting new people and work on amazing project so I can grow as a creative person and learn more as a professional photographer. I’m able to make a living by working as a photographer and creative because I make opportunities happen and put a price tag on it, my work is worth it getting paid for. I believe in myself. The most important is that I believe in my work, before anyone else does. I know others too will value my work, because I myself believe in it. I know that out there are people waiting for me to meet them, so we can create together. I have faith and patience and I trust that all I want will come. I’m creating this life this moment. My vision I am a freelance photographer/creative working on different projects with different interesting, inspiring cool people, to create amazing work together, questioning the status quo, because I want to do meaningful work, to shift this society and our world to a better place and make people think. I bring to the table, unique and different ideas, I’m bold and brave with my ideas, I’m not holding back and I’m working hard for it. I’m very confident to go a different road than others. I know I do good work that is aesthetic and touches people emotionally. I know i will have my own atelier to be creative and work on my project. I know I will travel to different locations, to work on projects, I know i will meet incredible inspiring people and learn so so much, which is one of my biggest motivation. why i do what i do -being creative = flow = happy me -meeting interesting, inspiring people -going places that are different and inspiring -learning new things, I just want to know everything 5. I am meeting my romantic love and I’m able to receive it and give it back I first and foremost respect myself. I’m ok with myself. I respect and care for myself that much, I let only someone into my life that is respectful, loving and has a kind heart. I deserve love. I trust my intuition to guide me towards the right person and I’m acting according to it, I’m not wasting time with people that are not really interesting for me or are not available. I’m loving, kind, uplifting, motivating, understanding towards my partner. I want to make him feel safe and at home with me. I want to make him laugh and have a good freaking time, to enjoy our time together, I want him to succeed in life and go for what he wants because that’s what he deserves. I see him for who he is and I love that about him. 
Around him I want to feel: Seen for who I really am, I want to be loved, accepted, safe, special, heard, valued, good, warm, at home, feminine, beautiful, wanted I feel safe to express who I really am and what I stand for. I feel safe to say what I want and don’t want. I’m bringing someone into my life that is fun, wants to live life and it’s adventures, is curious, wants to learn and grow, is self reflected, is ambitious but cares as much for the pleasure of life, is easy going and open minded but can hold a discussion and stands for his believes, someone that is fun to hang around and have easy going but also deep conversations 6. I am building the friend circle that truly aligns with my authentic self I’m loving, kind, uplifting, supporting, motivating, understanding towards my friends. I listen and I am present with them because I can be me around them. I care for them deeply and I wish them all the love, success and connection in the world. I want them to succeed so much in life. I trust and know that out there are people for me to meet that align with me to become friends. I deserve to be around people who are seeing me for who I truly am and support and love me just they way I see them. It’s very important that around my friends I feel like I can be me: real, honest, vulnerable, supported and loved. With my friends I share similar values and we can be creative together and uplift and support each other through life. 1. taking care of my mental health 2. Move on and let go of expectation and start taking decision exactly how I want to live life 3. Trust in life/universe, kindness with strangers 4. I’m taking my creative career as a freelance photographer and creative seriously 5. I am meeting my romantic love and I’m able to receive it and give it back 6. I am building the friend circle that truly aligns with my authentic self This year I want to: Keep my routines of taking care of my mental health: yoga, being present, no spiraling with my thoughts, walks, nutrition I can say if something bothers me, I just be me and i’m very fine with it I find my authentic self more and more I like myself more and more I stand on my own two feet and make a living for myself, I’m moving on and letting go of expectations, I move out of my home and create my own home I like and enjoy taking with strangers because I no longer come from a place of fear but of trust and love i’m moving on with my creative career, i’m succeeding with photo contests, exhibitions, art residency and projects, I get my first proper paid job I am meeting my romantic partner I am making amazing friends all the love C