A letter from March 30th, 2023

Hlo dear self I'm struggling a lot yrr.. I feel like I am trapped in a loop Pdhayi ya to ho nh rhi ya krna chahu to krne nh de rha koi ya ese khu kismat thodi against me h filhaal extra efforts krne pdenge Pura last week me kch nh pdh paya kyuki sir ki surgery hui thi and 3 din keh kr pure week meko handle krni pdi cls then mene decide kiya ab padhunga Monday se to nani k yha jaana pda Tuesday ko pdha to aadhe me he sir ne bula liya or raat ko tbyt or khrb hogyi to Wednesday aa he nh paya aj Thur he sir ne kaha 1 hr cls dekh lo ab 2 hr se jada hogye I'm still here T ki dadi expire hogyi and obv kisi ko btau to kya h smjhega koi iss baat ko ki kitna guilt feel hota h na pdh pane me bhi kyuki obv without study koi future h nh he Bht bura feel hora h yet I feel I can't do anything ya simply me efforts nh kr paa rha kch bhi honestly kya kru kch smjh nh aa rha bs itna pta h ese h chlta rha to thk nh hoga long term me bilkul bhi rhi shi ksar andr se aa rhi medicine ki smell se puri ho rhi h itni disgusting hai bsss Hopefully tumhare sath nh ho esa itne helpless to nh ho na tum i hope khud k liye kr pa rhe ho tum kch oky Take care @Rg