A letter from Jun 29, 2023

Dear Past Me, I received the letter from you one year ago when you were at the self-compassion retreat and how happy you were and your vow to love me unconditionally with self-compassion. thank you for this wonderful reminder! Dear future me, Guess what, I am about to start a new self-compassion online course with art journaling tomorrow given the difficulty with thijs since last week. There were so many moments that I wanted to write to you but I haven't - I am sorry about that and now I am back since I have a lot more time on my own and doing what I would like to do. I know you have this excruciating pain of anxiety about thijs not responding to you or about the final judgement day coming in 10 days. You feel such a strong desire to connect with others. I just want to tell you, everything will be ok, and you will surely let me know 6 month later. You are way stronger than you think. I understand you can be caught in the storm of past hurts and wounds, and there seems like there is no tomorrow and your whole world is collapsing. Whatever happens to you, don't fall in despair. Even if all the doors are closed, a secret path will be there for you that no one knows. You can't see it yet but so many paradises are at the end of this path. Thank you! It is easy to thank after obtaining what you want, thank before having what you want. rumi the wound is the place where the light enters you - Rumi You know this life, so mysterious, and very scary at times. you don't know anything anymore, or actually never have been knowing anything. shall we try to surrender to this giant misery? and have faith?? In the meantime, I just want to take good care of you, regardless of what happens. Let's turn the focus within. I think the universe has much better plans for you than you could have ever imagined - it has happened many many times before, don't you think??? You want a loving stable partner to build a home with, yes it will happen. you also want to heal the deep wound inside of you, yes it will happen. You will have a loving relationship, loving partner, loving family together. It will come. It will happen. You will feel whole, you will find the wholeness within, yes it will happen. ' you can't rush your healing' I don't know why we exist and why am I born in this world, in this giant darkness and nothingness. But I know one thing, is that while I am here, while I am inside, and operating this body and mind of you, I want us to have a good time, and I will only be loving and kind to you. That's the only thing I have 'control' over and the only decision I need to make. I am sure everything will be great when you reads this. I love you, remember. 我爱你🤟