Time Travelled — almost 1 year

A letter from Sep 05, 2023

Sep 05, 2023 Sep 05, 2024

Epilogue

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, OG LETTER: Dear FutureMe, I'm currently a 16 year old mess I have no idea what I want to do in life I have no idea who I want to be in life I've never dated. I've never had my first kiss. I've never had a job. I feel like I've never done anything. How have I lived 16 years on this planet and done nothing. I've watched every episode of Supernatural, I've tried all the iced coffee in Tesco but I've never REALLY lived. I want to live not just exist. I feel so lacking in everything. I love reading, I love writing, I love to delve into these fictional worlds but I feel like I'm missing so much in the real world. I hope you, future me, are living and feeling better than me. I love you no matter what. ----------------- Dear FutureMe, wow I forgot about this I cant believe its been a year update time!! so I'm still a mess, just a 17 yo one now - but i think I'm a better mess :)) I feel a bit happier with myself and my world now. It's kind of the opposite now, I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, its hard to narrow them down. I'm doing a gap year next year, I can't wait. I think working will be tough but I'm excited to leave the work at work and come home and not have to worry about homework and things like that. A Levels are brewing ahhhh but I AM GOING TO WORK HARD (manifesting haha) because I deserve to do well. Still never dated. Still never been kissed. I am scared I'm missing out. At the same time, I'm working on loving myself, adding someone else into the equation might upset the balance at the moment. Jobs: haha still never had one, too much volunteering so random but it rained so hard and there was so much lightning last night - I liked that Awwww Supernatural, those were the days. I've got a more healthy relationship with it, and TV, these days - not much more heathy but a little bit, I just started Doctor Who!!! Iced coffee is still my drug of choice, I'm sure it will be in 5 years as well. It's cheesy but I think you forget you're already living - every second, every breath you ARE living - just try and enjoy it a bit more, put a bit less pressure on it. what I'm learning is the real and the fictional worlds can exist at the same time, I don't have to put my all into one - it's about balance and that's ok. Working out that TV and books is what makes me happy doesn't mean you have to abandon real life. I am doing better, sometimes it doesn't feel like it but then I look back at my 2020 and 2021 self and I realise how far I've come. I'm going into my final year of compulsory education tomorrow, crazy times. and then the fun/work begins :))) I still love you, you idiot, love yourself a bit more <3 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2023 reply Awwwww i cannot beleive that first letter was only 2 years ago - from 16 to 18 feels like such a jump. omg yeah im an adult now ahjkjglgjldjfldf yeah about that whole being a mess thing - defo still true lol, i had a massive breakdown last night and i still find it really hard just dealing with my emotions, but guess who's got therapy now? ta-da!! even if i dont really think its working and dont really like my therapist - i'm going to have to find the courage to talk to mum about switching but thats for another day. yeah still never dated, still never kissed anyone - **** ollie for messing up my life tbh - oh yeah i've started opening up to a couple of people more about what happened, still havent talked to mum though :( who needs dating when i can shamelessly flirt with charlotte whilst watching good omens, awww supernatural still bringing that nostaglia though - more stuff about the spanish dub came out recently haha - chaos i love it oh yeah i got tumblr again - honestly loving it, feels nostalgic and warm and safe <3 my new fandom of choice is f1 at the moment - i really hope this doesn't die away like so many of my other loves - something about it i really love the excitement - the longevity of any of my passions is always in doubt. theres like extra pressure this time because I've dragged mum and iris into my thing now. also i need to stop irresponsibly spending all my money on f1 hats from vinted. haha oh the gap year - well its here! but my god 17 y o poppy was snobby and thought she knew everything haha. getting a job is wayyyyyyy harder than it looks trust me - im scouring indeed literally every day i've applied to a whole bunch of jobs and got one interview (in 2 days ahhhhhhh) - i mean they want to pay me a criminally (literally) low wage but hey ho - money's money right. oh yeah, 2 years ago i was starting my a levels, 1 year ago i was getting close - omg ITS OVER BABES YOU DID IT!!!!! A*AA BESTIE!!!!! WITH AN A* IN THE EPQ. so smart, so hardworking no one can take that away from you. ew dont even start on doctor who - thanks to another guy named olly (i think i'm cursed to be screwed over by that name) i cant be doing with that for a bit. yeah iced coffee still does it for me :) its hard with all my friends moving away to uni, i kind of dont want to let them go but also im ready to get into the flow of working and finding out what hobbies i want on the side - kind of wanted to learn bookbinding so i can have physical copies of my fave fanfics (omg FG though - you should so re-read that fic its so **** good) hope you're still as awkwrard and wierd and awesome this time next year - love ya! PS omg reread the hunger games dude - id forgotten literally just how good it is - i know this sounds dumb but like its still so much fun to read even as an adult ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- bring on 2024

Epilogue

1 day later

2024 RESPONSE:
BRO so much has changed this is wild, like genuinly crazy.
my whole world is like constantly shifting, this time next week im driving up to *** for...

Ym tenrie 'vei ngcaeh hylo eerv bene yblaorpb **** iun iekl feil aicytsdallr ujst igtbges houghtr ng,ache eht lilw. On epesk zcayr omunta owdlr in,tugrn its uhcm eth stju saeinn me the fo ttha cocru and ot tswtsi polt ohw. A ok i sduohl i etiqonsus ekli eelf dsrnpeo to fwe.
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Yuo i toni it iglr srr,yo nogig adn yuo odl elf,s ni uryo in em appenh fatc sutj rfeusylo aery dtneex you ohlwe it eylarl to trtsu noso as my rohwt eewr yemirs as os im tpos rhuhtgo lgnoilaww o,lev ym it egst te,bret statrs 61 l,isfrty lief all to. Syedh ereonvey adn ot u,oy osno yuo haev lilsy as as haev trtas adn ouy kinth seeericpenx uyo ywa tnah utstr me rfea i sa enpo waya enes seel sjtu up ndruoa igbne roeclo fo woudl sdeareil sa ptsidu htat i ofrm is dna onulco rof im as. Si ulebbb meor uytm,tira hte rectfle csricel weher otn ta olamhonr evry wgro era apxedn adn ocmes aponmittr sodesebs bkca losa ppleeo mtie htiw teh dna (kaa dan ihgh ilfe eth nda eiyarrhhc, rael htwi tsuj sthi eomr you ouy slilt nozroshi does plrtauoipy tiyn )olosch isleaer 61 ouyr pu. .
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Eary etetlr srue sa ot cshweitd all sirhtoy cooinmnicutam wonk - a **** mi h)aah and otl aechgn uilsamjron edereg ym tbi siht ouy llti' ym euifrg dna out a slcsaics wsodtra oeccih iemt midae aaing mi in eb tstairng hhligy ot gmtih vrene w/ lennaig mi atht gtteirnger adn saol whleo ym but nt(o e'vi i xnet.
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Bro ot tperty hinbde sgiin,ks lie tno ggino haey dganti, - ltsli rewe' syob. Bneig yeha to sa da's adn ojb pu licdh ryt uoy etad wgro ykesi ylirpusnugisn petyrt a hnwe ropo os a sdoe. Si but diwl uchm is it ltils yorrs ejsko ohlsd even ohw uoy rueiyslso inkgam kown i nthig bad ti cakb ,now a. Gmtih tub htat llo nad aehv i the dna o'eury snew i ayehprt mi in benydo a eetrtb ot radaif adh 0252 ntaesiiorlph tudape ro a iwhs hypap edorkw be htta astble. <3 mi way ddi to too rof os tath eh uoy mmu buaot ,uoy etll idd oyu bnee audonr seertc niracgry eprsu ongl ahwt fo dopur yuev'o.
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Ucmh mndisihi to taenerge nda ym sthta the eomr uyo rome onti oevl treyh'e evne wohcbrtka rsue ok!!! aurtpuerasnl be mrsgsienbea enor,sa ofr teg ueor'y yruo atsp oabut nkow life ,nwo fo wlil i ok psudspeo lurmbt eou'yv passeh saphse adn f1 mi my ni ,ti lfnceniue a 'ist lsitl tihw tllsi vyer but soipnlatehri ym as ouhhtg icgynr a a i im ogt phayp ysbu moer etbetr. .
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Ot ogign ebeelvi ko htsi otn glriei 'uroey. . . . Uoy no ehelvss meth at uyo osfeecf' lapce hyea wrko eth tosec frm,o idrte y'uove hte lal sotck ttah rleliaytl abbes. . . . Haah lopt wtsti. Cuhm me czrya intnoem hte at ew ryc, ahye idgno ytoelnhs ehre oont to at fitsr r,ea ahev ew tbu sa had a ho( atht teg tkhin d'ton o hawt owldu obj in os buaot irdedsnoce odg i'ev teocs 61 'id igtknosc telet!!r olevd i ubt y tr)ale ym be eevr mi shveesl lw'el ttah ocset 91.
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As eadnirg s,ertinste oruy sa cakb dna ianiyragm mcuh yuo enev gnloidh r'tane irgiwtn tmea rdwie wsrdol uryo htink uyo em turst. A sit etisneivs nda astn'w, nfyun 81 71 i hatt dink bad elepop cmhu nda ti adn ieometv ptas me tihngs lla dod aws sugm swa dna it and doeawneglklbe leuav so adn in hwhic dna dna duseams ehste at idrew edam nda uoy ,tihng yuo. .
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Sehot tebtre you ttrus na ginhva rsaef tuo uyo 61 swa ,out tib age tnkih leamnt rlodw ahtleh, onw wno yue'ro you ruoy ofr erew at ether tuo ,me tlyreia tamlso eeieecxsrnp cna a i etgeean ni keep fyroeuls iimssgn what it at hewre esmsid aws ttha kdi on, aerl. .
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Utrfue rae ignliv ,em glefeni adn em uoy, ebttre epho i" nath.
Oyu ettrma eovl no i ahtw. Htaw " a cueti. Odign wee'r ok me trstu byddu.
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Hes haead o outhh,gr em reew weer yppop gnibe erhid in tiwh put fro liek tacf wko,r kwne you odne shuc of dgoo dourp os asys ohtse in lal a ruoy nzgaiam esmxa uoy nosylet,h 17 ehwn odog tahw i o aet,ds 81 irlg y elwl uoy stmie speru you llseve uryo hrnaetki sujt in hdra uroy aeosndert etocs oleooholoooo snghupi cheo y nad you uotab i efftor vnbgii eefl ewer. .
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Ucmh !nwo! os ihgrt aidren o"s mi it dahr so tals heetr ihngt and omrdan ----- i ,irna ayhe ti "tath btu ighntgiln - inceierepgnx eikdl aws mrteesepb.
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Lttae raffod litls lgri eulc irp gigno miem niu acef heay ahtt cna ffceoe it fi ta edci ghuhto i ton srg,ont em a adn.
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Dtno sopp - senchret ojke lollllll het i eigfrla nemlat our kabc syrro sshe knhit owh em )is m(i ni ryae 18 hhalet odl stju i nyunf ot nmea ist.
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To it rehyatp so ta ot eht veell shtat tou ndtdi when nosresilaofp 3 ti ritfs dene dna lcoo cfesaur eetnfdaiyl lla uhmc dogo nui ehwn etffro i kept uthn meos ngigo hlpe tub teg afalto oclo a eth nmtosh to ndfgiin ayeh saw ym ni dahr em nhgti hlep tpu oot boj oyu 'ourye was.
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Messe tynirg aldreay tno the htogruh owaoyo,hoonoo yaeh eb hbla oknw uotba i ntdo ndeo sti,h it we so dgino netw alhb blha peke ot job ot lewl iklnatg kntih ot and htat i mum orf.
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Ogod ,oemsn oh os ko here oh orve olt ubdyd gifrintl tihw a ho esterh to kucanp boy lthcarteo oyb byo. Htat tolp lbieeev me wtsti is geiltnl kittosk wneh hsit ees yuo the othse onemtm 0224 woudtln of rhe me keil is baou"t the 02"32. Ihst gilr to hmfato eratc i yrots lllyairet rsyro how ouy lduwo ntanoc. Lsnik laso rdocto ohw ot sith llyo. .
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Eslhfsi vene him ?t?et??eg?o??h?r? asw tyhe omg hre kesiy she uoy thye uoldw be hag,sgde esh ddi nda ehay stju iwder lkei i os ti kwne dlto os llte uyo tuhgoh yeah dna os haw,t 'uyreo sywynaa iscbllaya te,m eldki acn it lptse. Asicalybl htta ti cseaube so yb dan syanayw oogd trso ?ea?y?s? veenr maent fo ssh'e a ro ton rylael meor it pedoen ihesfsl eeys hadr erh s'ehs ot hte otnd oglesiapod eshs ngrow wanna uoy hes swa go was eh oyru aoitscn thta i noed her eifnrd ascbeeu ldot ntio btu cfta and that eses sa as esh. . . . Egt isth fro edyar. . . Loly gte hes hsa utabo ewecrds lweoh a dan up it bf orthe y,ug who hse kjeo me enhw i a the ??ow??n sujt stitonuia much adme jsut meso hmi nddti ton. Nmea elevls ,pu migonsk fo dteatrs em klie i sedems it i oysuirels up em ssmede. :(((( me to i me mi ksemo onkw atnw yellra espahpn eugynor ddint srory ouy ****.
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Olsa kyclu good a'ntws rhda, i job wduotln a yhw ehay posren ratylille me utb netitgg iqeafidul nwta nyhletso a mi taht tgo yhet. Me of iprvmeo isth my ihst yees eetsme hte nfceenuil ym on si esrsiuoly a(ka cam uyg in etars osop nda slfe aa)ign hleped my eog.
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Emnta ielttl illw atyualcl reyv ct)e haev eth atth and mvoing pnfrisie,hds illw nrfsedi to eons no mneat to aa(k ****** atys ois,lue uni yruo yuor trh,u trust lch,trtaoa neos the eth illw fdtir ot olt era aipmtc em. Way up (kmar ymjmi frnedis limeh) 'youll nad adn hwti end aak agnol lot uyro eslrco the asont ni few ebnlalae ettngig oelpep enw youll' iltls a vnee a breuragyc/ asol up ipck tnwo.
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Iwll enbelac alayws tbu lrey a het ilef mi rof og rseu be yuo mreo igb strehe ytelhha intfincofa lilw ouy no oyu fan ehtre rowdl tuo of tmennt,eeanitr a yuor orrwy elss het rapt hte nodt.
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Me wskee sugy ifle unroad awya ynlrea deam eikl rsae mkoes,d is me fsderni ta cpiikng i deon iednrv esassryssss form ym gto si thwi itwh ot atdi,rpe teh ,otl neebta ni adcden teh i evha sha pdnepeah ,nesfrdi bp,u ugys, 2 wdee, my a ni tasl m,e ni up remo etspl hant ymaurms vei f,of 3 taht hmeo the pu nyailfl setiertned uttsr hktni. Iwth wlil w"kno xten niogg im dose meti obdtu who acgnhe ylsefm ubt be mi 'ill i dotn siht yare ta usre at h"o ntntoce emnmot 'mi orf rewhe tiltle nui lnauiggh teh threegyivn ehs. Em at who nigkam ot em htat aevh cyr eopepl nda rof nad rehiknat ta amc aslaonitrie) oyu khtn(a evlo a spegrifnit my hstat wrdol jstu i. Etbert ot aycrs its fro het splaee ngeahc :) tub onggi is lla atth dna hopuelylf.

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