Dear FutureMe,
You'll get over this. I promise you, you will. It might take a while, anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of years, but in the end, time heals all wounds.
He left you, and then you left him. It wasn't anyone's fault. It wasn't meant to be. There were too many obstacles, and you were too young to readily commit. Maybe you're in touch with him. Maybe you've found yourself another great guy. I don't care how long it takes you but never, ever settle. If it takes you years to find the perfect guy, it will be painful but worth the wait. I promise.
Do you remember how you two first met? It seemed like fate, didn't it? After all, what are the chances that two people would meet in a foreign country, in a foreign city, hundreds and thousands of miles away from their families? And what are the chances those two people would fall in love?
If you still look back on that relationship and think, I shouldn't have ended it, you're wrong. I believe in fate. I think you do too. In the end, everything will be fine.
I hope you've found your calling by now. At the time of writing, you were considering applying for a three month internship as a visual merchandiser for an online retail company. Did you apply? How did that go?
I wonder where you are living now and I hope you end up in one of those places I've always dreamed of moving to - New York, London, Tokyo. Large, metropolitan cities full of culture and energy and life. I hope you're not struggling.
If you are with someone new, I hope he treats you well, as good as the other if not better. I hope you've learned that love is worth fighting for, tooth and nail. I hope, too, that you've learnt to let go.
Future me, I want so much for you. I want you to be happy. Up till now, I've hardly ever been, save for my months in London that are now so painful to look back on. I want you to remember everything, never forget who you are, the things you've had to go through. Do you remember when you were so depressed you used to cut yourself?
And then he asked you, what are these scars? And you were too ashamed to tell him. You didn't want anyone to know. I hope you've told someone now, someone who will help you keep your secret and who won't judge you for it. I hope you don't sit in your room, alone and miserable, like I do now.
Remember all those things I want to be, and become them. Don't let anyone hold you back.
Give it your all. Never give up. Fall in love and hold him in your arms at night. Kiss him in the morning, every morning, and tell him you love him.
Look in the mirror and love the way you look. Do what you love. Keep your promises. Take risks. Don't settle. You must always keep moving.
Lots of love,
Yourself at age 20
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