Here we go

There are going to be things in life that are painful, but you've already made it through so much. Today is the beginning of 2011 it is the year you will graduate and leave behind the people in this world that mean more to you than anything. Three weeks ago you received an acceptance letter, your first. Remember that moment when you held it with trembling hands and tears in your eyes afraid that it might just be a dream. I know how little you expect from yourself and I know how often you seem to surprise yourself. You are worth more than you believe. You've had pain, but so has everyone else. You've had a brother who could have made life easier, but instead tested everyone's boundries... He almost broke your's. Remember that you overcame that. Think of the boys who have hurt you and how in the end you still got through it. Remember to have a tough skin. Let people in. You don't have to go through life alone. Jimmy told you that. You don't have to run to protect others, they want to let you in too. It is okay to cry infront of people. They won't ridicule you. Sometimes being uprooted from life makes you scared to let anyone in, but if you didn't you wouldn't have Karlyn or Jimmy. Forgive. Remember you aren't always perfect, nobody is no matter how much you want to convince yourself that there is perfection there isn't. You are wonderful exactly the way you are. Remember that your friends aren't always perfect, but accept them for the mistakes they make anyway. They accept you. Remember that the hardest time in life is when you are alone... junior year should prove that one. So don't force yourself into solitude. You were lucky, Karlyn made you remember that other people were there for you. Be thankful for Karlyn. I hope that you are still talking to her in six years. I pray that you two are still as close then as you are now. But things happen... right now it looks like you will be six hours apart next year. That's terrifying. Even if you aren't talking though remember how much she taught you and how much she respected you and vice versa. Think of the laughs and the rare arguements you had. Be grateful that you were blessed by her in your life even if it was only for these last four years. She has been your best friend and held your hand through so much. You've had the time of your life fighting dragons with her. Love your family. Even when they seem impossible, they are always going to be there even if you don't want them to be. No matter how many times you screw up, they will be there for you. Remember laughing with Mom and Dad in New York. Or meeting Amy before school for breakfast. Remember her stealing your clothes, even though that made you mad you can't blame her... you have some cute things! Remember Dan taking you to the Bravery or to RBF. Remember Jeff helping you with that silly mousetrap car. Remember those family dinners that would go on for hours and nobody seemed to mind that we were still at the table at 9:30 at night. You've had love twice in your life. I mean that crazy, wide eyed, never going to happen love... it did happen, to you. Maybe it hasn't happened since, I don't know... but it doesn't matter because you have changed. With each time you love you mature and the next time you love is different than your first. Brian taught you things. He stood by you and cared for you when you hated yourself. Jimmy taught you things. He gave you a second/third/fourth chance and made you relive painful things so you could move on. Don't force yourself to love somebody who you know is wrong for you. Maybe by the time this gets to you you will be married or maybe you will be getting engaged or just dating somebody or maybe you'll be single... whatever you are just please promise me, you are happy. You have loved more than some people do in a lifetime. There are going to be challenges in the next six years. It's PT school what did you expect? Just remember to embrace it... remember that feeling you had when you received your first acceptance letter. I love you and am beginning to even believe in you. <3