A letter from August 9th, 2011

Dear FutureMe, Happy 27th Birthday! I hope that it is spent in a foreign land, or with many loved ones! Now, you might not remember me, you're 17 year old self, but I am a liar. I lie to everyone to make myself seem better in their eyes, and I worry all the time what people think of me, especially guys. I hope that you managed to fix that for me, it would really make me happy if the lies were true, or I could be happy with how I am. Right now I am in a volunteers dorm in Nepal, and am supposed to be preparing the lesson for the boys in the orphanage. Its cloudy, and I have sunburns up and down my scared arms that are swollen and burning every time I move listening to Johnny Flynn's Tickle Me Pink and thinking of you! I can't wait to go home for Christmas, and I hope it all turned out well for you! No fights, Christmas songs, cookies, yummy food, and minimal weight put on!!! I lost weight while I was in China and am feeling so good, the sickness you and I suffered for seems to be subsiding and finally the small things are SO much more enjoyable as I exit the world of dreaming and enter the world of guys and work. I really hope you can kiss well by now, as I am hopeless. The one kiss with Rob Phillip was all him, remember? I wish I could have kissed back, but I'm also glad I didn't, are you glad too? My teeth just get in the way... Do you have children? Are they cute? I hope so, you know, we always wanted kids, and a daughter from China. Is this still your dream, or has it been altered? I won't hold it against you if the life we planned has changed, as long as we are happy! Is Christmas like you always imagined it? Perhaps with a few sons with long blond hair, or a daughter with black? Going to the mall, taking pictures with Santa, a warm house with lots of windows, soft carpet and white doors with wreaths on them and colorful, warm linens everywhere, mostly free of dirt and dust and extreme clutter? I really really hope so, Christmas is my favorite time of year, is it still yours? I hope you can remember to work hard and get the things you want out of life, I would hate if we were stuck in some trailer working in a fast food restaurant. Please promise me if we are, that you will change it, and quickly! 10 years is actually a really short amount of time. The days pass by slow, and the weeks fast, as the years, please remember this and don't worry too much about money like I do now. I'm not sure what else there is to say but even if you feel stuck or have kids, you can still accomplish anything you want and to never stop trying like it seems Mom has. Also, please be kind to her, she is a very strong woman and raised us well....I hope. If you have money, please remember that others don't and to share, ALWAYS. If not, no worries, sharing is still an obligation. Never ever put your bank account first, relationships are more important. And please don't be shy and sit in the corner, I've had enough of that. Good Luck to ME~ BTW Did mom ever say congratulations for graduating high school?