A letter from October 25th, 2012

Dear Nathan, you'll recieve this five years from today. We're at a rough patch right now, hopefully we make it through. Hopefully, when you read this I'll still be the girl of your dreams, I'll still be with you, we'll both be doing well. I have high hopes for us. If everything doesn't work out, if we've gone our seperate ways, know that I'll always have a place in my heart for you. As of this present day I am so in love with you, you're a freshman at Utica, entirely overwhelmed, you are convinced I don't understand. I sleep with a phone by my bed every single night just so if you need anything, for any reason, you can call me at 3 AM and I'll be there for you. You are amazing, we both have a lot of damage, but you amaze me. I know I could be better, I'm sorry for that. I want to be the one to hold you in your darkest hour, to convince you otherwise when you think that you aren't good enough, I want to cook for you, bring you icepacks and meds when you are hurt, stay by you while you are sick, take every struggle you have onto myself and make sure you know you never have to do this alone. I want to be the one who you can't do without. I know you don't need me, but I need you, and I want to keep you from harm, help you through, stand by you when no one else will, try my best to understand. I love you more than anything, I hope five years from now, I can still say that, still hold you, still kiss you. If not... I'm probablly somewhere, struggling, but I'll seem okay. And you, you'll be somewhere, being the best at what you do, and adding to your list of admirers. So many people already look up to you. I'm so grateful to have you. I never take you for granted, I know just how lucky I am :*