A letter from September 13th, 2013

Dear FutureMe, My first letter YEARS into the future instead of months (I'm usually too impatient). I'm a 27 year old, feeling like a bum and lost in everything - lost in love, lost in career. I don't feel like I'm in the field I should, and I'm alone. I don't know where I am, but I hope that it's something better now. Four years ago I was a very different person, younger, more selfish, kind of oblivious to how I affect others. I'm sure four years from now, when I'm 31, I'll see this (if my email address still even exists) and laugh at how different I was. Maybe I'm the same. I'm in the middle of a love dilemma. One guy or the other, though nothing serious is progressing with either. That's what I want now. Serious, love, babies, etc. I'm currently full of mood swings, crying bouts, random moments of sadness, wondering where I'm going and what I'm really doing.. It seems the slightest thing can tip me over. Especially problems of love. I feel so unaccomplished compared to everyone else my age. I feel like I've been lost and am allowed to be lost, but I've been lost for so long now. I feel like four years ago, I deserved to feel lost because I was selfish and just wanted to be carefree with little regard to others. I was young and wanted to live for myself, and so when I felt down, I knew why. But I feel I've really been trying these past few years, I've grown up, I think that I am kind and I try to be pleasant. Aside from being lazy sometimes I feel that I am trying my absolute best to be something good in this world, and I haven't yet succeeded. I hope I'm better now, four years later.