A letter from November 28th, 2013

Dear Future Me, I sit here drinking mint tea sweetened with condensed milk and I more than a bit unnerved about the future. I hope that everything will work itself out. I apologize in advance to 2021 me for my abysmal writing. Here goes: Future Me, I know that you will be more than Present and Past Me could ever be because simply put, time is on your side. You have gained the things your past selves have longed for. You will be secure in yourself, your intelligence and accomplishments... because it is about goddamn time. Present Me is navigating life and its subsequent turbulence. Present Me is stumbling along with her insecurities. Present Me is also wondering why in the hell she is so lucky ( I am eternally grateful for the courses of events that have allowed me to land on my feet time after time). Quite frankly, Present Me is often a hot ass mess. But, I still clean up well. :) My main woes are financial, just as any other college kid. But, two weeks shy of earning my Bachelor's, Present Me has high dollar aspirations. I hope/wish/know/resolve that whatever you are doing and wherever it is, Future Me, you will be comfortable, content, and fulfilled. The hunger in your belly for luxury will be sated or is being managed. I know that you will be financially stable and that cushion you so desperately worked for in the past will have been long established. You will have a beautiful house, a beautiful car, great clothes/ accessories and most importantly you will be happy. I do not necessarily equate luxury items with happiness but I do equate them to security which is the one thing that no matter how much Present/ Past me has tried has not been able to acquire. You will not be, forced-forged-from-stone fake smile happy, but be genuinely pleased with the way life turned out and are optimistic about the future. Present Me is not incredibly sure about her aspirations for higher education. She simply wants to make money. Maybe you will be at the helm of some successful business or be the brain behind the magic, who knows. I want you to be the pillar of financial support for your family that the Present and Past forms of yourself could not be. I know you're handling like the bad gyal you are (lol YAAAASS, I always wanted to say that) Future Me, I hope that you have been in love. Life-changing love. I hope you have not had as much grief as Present/ Past Me have had over the Boys/ Men/ Infants/ Toddlers you have dated are dating or lusted after. Maybe (Ideally) you are married and have children, maybe you are not. But, I hope that you have given/are giving your all to someone in return for the same. I do not pray for your heartbreak, just growth. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SELL OUT. Everyone wants you to believe that you are so odd, and dramatic. But, Future Me, I am beginning to see that it is one of our best features. I hope that you are still weird and proud of it (not in an anti-social way that you are unable to "turn off"). Future Me, never apologize for being yourself and don't take any shit from ANYONE. At this point in your life, you will be running shit, and doing things that this 22 y/o always dreamed you would. I want you to be fit; mentally and physically. Future Me, you will be well-traveled and well-read.(Europe forsure) If you have settled down, you have tasted the flavors of the world, discarded those that have not suited your tastes and stocked away the ones you favor. (This will probably sound ridiculous in 2021 but I know that reading this will take me back to the exact frame of mind I was in when I wrote this) I hope you have lost your propensity to obsess about things; that you have mastered the ability to let things go. Future Me, I hope that our family is blessed, healthy and well taken care of. In short, I do not expect for you to be perfect, I expect for you to have lived and lived well. I cannot go into the past nor will I be able to jump ahead to see what is in the future. I am confident that you will be taking care of business. I am confident that you are still the driven woman that is writing this long daunting piece of literature. Never forget that the world is within reach. Love Eternally and Without Regret or Expectation: Your Present&Past.