A letter from January 22nd, 2016

Hey. So at the moment you're 19 and half living with your parents and the other half with your boyfriend. Who you are very much in love with. You failed your a-levels and went to an art school, to drop out of four months later because it wasn't your passion (Even though you convinced yourself beforehand it was). Your parents still don't know this, and if they find out you're dead. You're looking for bar work, and hope to save up money to travel next year. But you have a fear. A fear of fucking up again, like the other two times. Or not finding out what it is you really want to do in your travels. Or ever finding out what you want to do. You're constantly pushing this thought away in hope that it dissapears, but instead the fear and insecurity of not being stable or successful grows larger day by day. I hope that two years from now, you don't have this fear in you. Because I know that it's an irrational fear. You aren't a failure for waiting instead of rushing into a university course or an internship or a job. Be confident with where you are, for the hard times where you feel like you're nowhere are the times that will shape you into who you will be. And remember what Lauren told you - nowhere is spelt the same as now here. That's all you ever are at any moment in time - here.