A letter from March 7th, 2016

Hey Elaine, Happy 30th Birthday! I know it's been hard these days for you, with no career at all, having an dysfunctional family, suffering from a depression, no money at all, and the love of your life even left you. Yet, you are still there, not knowing what to do, barely breathing, listening to spotify (jack johnson, fix you, make you feel my love, lost stars), crying the whole morning and just figuring out how to forgive yourself. You have done such bad things, not to the people that you love but also to yourself. You got this, I believe in you, like everyone that love you believes in you... I hope while you are reading this, you are smiling. and you are in a happy place now, wherever it is. Always try to be happy. Be at peace. Always believe in miracles. And always, always have a good heart. You are one of the most beautiful person in the world, and sometimes life has to teach you something more. Be strong, this is exactly a day before it's already 3 months since you broke up with Loi. I know you are in deep pain, but time heals, forgive him and yourself. I'm not sure of what is happening to you now. But I know that you are doing well. I hope by this time, you have found somebody to love again. Someone who will never leave you. And you won't try to give them a reason to do so... You got one of the biggest hearts with the biggest dreams Elaine, try your best to show the world that you are. Enjoy life while you can, love your family, your parents, your sisters, your best friends, your loved ones.... Connect with the world! Meet new people, prolly get a tattoo, and experience new things. On this day you are 30 years old, I am writing as your 25 year old Elaine, who is very lost, who is deeply hurt, who is very hopeful nonetheless. and I hope by this day, you have accomplished a lot. And that will show me that you have really love yourself... Remember it's not to late to do the things that you love, never settle for mediocre love.. Eat good food, do a lot of walking, Go learn new cuisines, go to another country in a whim, be yourself, remember to smile, the hot air balloon dream, the Christmas in Austria, the market in Spain, those things, look at your Pinterest. By this time I hope you've done a lot of things already... So I can say to myself that this was worth it, all this pain was worth it. I hope you have found yourself. And you are happy with what you have found. You are not to old to chase your dreams!!! Don't forget to pray... Remember this day that I am talking to you now, look how far we've come! I'm so proud of you!!! Btw, if you're already married, or you got kids already, can you kiss them for me right now? and thank them for being a part of your life? also call your family! also don't ever leave your best friend behind. We got this Elaine, I know we do. I love you. Try to learn sewing, cooking, a new language, writing a book. you have always wanted those right? I hope you are driving a car now, you have always wanted that, hopefully a house too!!! tell me about those achievements that you have acquired in this 5 years, all your adventures, your craziness!!! I wish you all the luck in the world. Just be happy and be at peace.. I hope by this time you have found what you really wanted in life. If you're not doing okay right now, just be strong, this too shall pass. It is okay not to be okay. You always have a choice Elaine. Don't push people away from you, the people who loves you.. Remember that you also do make mistakes, it's normal to make mistakes. but you gotta learn from it too... Appreciate everyone in your life right now, they might not be there tomorrow. Remember to love yourself first, you can't love anyone before you... Also control your temper, show empathy and compassion to everyone. Have some sleep Elaine, stop forgetting your health. Sometimes, hangovers aren't worthy. Remember to buy a land and make houses in Surigao, learn to invest. do a food truck for a hobbie, I hope you are very happy right now. We thought we would never pass this right? Well I am very glad we did it!!!!! Now you are 30 already, I think it's time to rise up to your potential, do something Big Elaine! something for yourself and for your future. I don't know what it is right now, but I am sure, knowing you have an Idea of what you want to do. Go do it nothings stopping you!!! Be Bold!! Did you know that today, you also wrote a goodbye letter to Loi? I hope in that day it made a big impact in your life right now.. Well, I hope you have a good one today Queen E, Happy 30th Birthday again Elle, be Merry, you deserve it!!! Be happy and always be at peace. Cheers! :) P.S. now that you have the money, for fuck sake,far out, please donate at futureme.org I Love You, Always and Forever, Elaine