A letter from April 2nd, 2016

Dear FutureMe, April 2, 2016. Springtime in Tokyo, and the city is brimming with life for the sakura/ hanami season. These days, you find the weather still too cold, and in fact today, you chose to skip 2 hanami / sakura meet-ups. Instead, you spent the day watching Spurs and Coach Pop videos on youtube (and you dont regret it by one bit!). You also attempted to make leche flan, pero mukhang naging tamago cake; the kind that Japanese like :) Put more milk and caramelized sugar next time! There are things you wonder about lately. Like, how long will I stay here? You've been in Tokyo for 1.5 years na; should you move again by end of this year? Where to? Do you look for a post in SG? In UK? Do you take P's invitation and immigrate to Australia and find a job at the Sydney office? When will you return to Manila? Do you really want to go back now to Manila? And these days---actually, these years--- you often think about if you'd end up alone. It's a scary thought, but I guess you're more sad than scared. Hindi ka naman mahirap mahalin. There have been guys who've expressed or shown interest, and you probably have that charm that makes people say 'kawaii' all the time kahit di ka naman talaga cute, and just a plain Jane. And yet here you are, approaching 33, and still no meaningful relationship to speak of. The biological clock is ticking, and yet what can you do? This is what you CAN do: pray and lift up everything to the Lord. His ways are perfect. His plans are grander than what you could imagine. Your whole life is a testament to that; why do you doubt now, Nids? Pick up the Bible. Read His words. Trust in His promises. And if you are reading this, 5 years from now and still unsure if you'll ever get your heart's desires, remember this: 'But if not, He is still good'. He is always good. That you are still reading this is proof of His mercy and goodness.