dear you,
Look back a year. Two, maybe.
Remember how her hand felt against yours, accidentally brushing on the corner of her locker?
Remember her surprised little laugh, and how hard you try to make her do it again and again?
Remember the way she said your name, like the most normal thing in the world?
Remember the way her hair swept across her brow, like a breeze on a warm summer day?
Remember when she said "I love you" for the first time?
That may have been the happiest moment of your life; at least, in that thought it was. Your heart swelled for this amazing, courageous girl, this wonderful, honest girl who likes you. No, who loves you.
What an amazing feeling.
Of course, there was the best friend; the one you can never hate. She's always there, and she's silent in the background. She was there long before you ever were; she loved the one you love before you even knew she existed.
You want so bad to dislike her. So, so bad. But you find yourself becoming her best friend as well. Soon the two of you are very close.
And you begin to let go.
You realize that the love of your life was never yours to start. She only came into your life to be the one that got away. She only came to teach you how to grow up, how to learn the hardest lesson of all: that life goes on.
She only came to break your heart.
Now, writing this, it hasn't happened. But know that it will. You've already learned that you cannot trust others with your fragile being.
Maybe someday you will try again.
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