Dear FutureMe,
Wow. You've just turned 18. For some very odd reason I’ve not warmed to the idea of it just yet. Legally being allowed to go to pubs, clubs and drinking. By this stage you've reached your final days of being a child in care. However as I began to evaluate and reminisce on my childhood I realised how many mistakes I’ve made and things I’ve learned in just a short lifespan of life.
I took some time to write myself some advice.
1. Travel- Like you've always wanted to. Go alone, with a friend or with family. Just Travel
You have very little responsibility so go and travel. When you get to 30 and have kids (hopefully) you’re going to want to travel slightly differently, spend a little more, do slightly more expensive things, eat at slightly better restaurants. So work for a year and save enough money to experience the world on the cheap.
How do you know what you want to do if you don’t know what’s out there to do?
* Don’t just travel to the obvious places.
* Travel to the tough places.
* Travel to learn.
* Travel to discover.
* Travel to the places that will challenge who you think you want to be.
At 16, you were the girl that wanted to go places, adventures and explore the world around you. You've been limited because of your situation. Now is the time to take that passport with both hands and set yourself free.
2. Build things
Don’t spend too much time working on other people’s visions or in other people’s meetings, you spent most of your teen years doing this. Spend time figuring out what your own world view is (see point 1) and where you want to take your own life.
Meetings are where ideas go to die.
If you find yourself in a corporate job that you wish you could leave then do it. Leave. If you don’t have a corporate job yet see point 5.
And if by any chance, your not happy with something. Change it.
3. Read
Read every day. Read everything you can. Don’t just read about things you know about. Read about people. Read people. Read about the world.
Don't limits your knowledge. You've never done that so why do it now?
4. Stop watching television
Right now. Stop it. It’s not helping you get better at anything.
You've never been the one to sit and watch tv for hours on end. But that's ok if that what you want to do.
5. Career
Do not take that corporate job. Just don’t do it (see point 2).
If you want a job, work hard for it. If you work hard for it. Waste time gaming the degrees you need and you don't like that job. WHO CARES. Move on there is plenty of more options available to you.
6. Trust
Even if it kills your relationships. Even if it destroys your ideas. Even if you lose your friends. Even if it means you end up getting hurt.
Trust people until they give you a reason not to.
But don’t be naïve. Some people are out to fuck you up and watch you burn.
7. People
People are the best and worst thing that will happen to you. Some will help you go further, faster. Others will pull you down to their level and help you lose. Most are OK. Many are average. Some are excellent.
A few people will change your life forever. Find them.
You don’t need a lot of friends or people around you. You need amazing people who do for you as you do for them.
It’s simple really, a lot of average friends will leave you feeling alone when you need to feel surrounded by people who care and that's okay.
Make time for those around you. Send them reminders of how important they are. How much they've helped you. Never forget that.
8. Value time
Don’t waste time on people who you don’t trust. Don’t waste time with lovers who cheat on you. Don’t waste time with friends who don’t treat you the way you treat them (see point 7). You spent too much time worrying about your time during your teens. Don't worry about it now. Just value it.
Do not be late- you're hardly ever late. DONT LET THAT CHANGE
Value other people’s time. That means that if you’re late, you don’t give a shit about them or their time and that you think you’re worth more and therefore can keep them waiting.
Some people will tell you that it’s OK to be late. It’s not. Some people will tell you that it’s just the way they are. Then you need to reevaluate them (see point 7 above).
9. Fail
Fail a lot. Fail often. Fail at love. Fail at sex. Fail at socialising. Fail at making friends. Fail at work. Fail at business. Fail with family. Fail with existing friends.
Fail.
But do it quickly and learn a lesson.
If you don’t learn something every time you fail then all you’ve done is failed. If you learn something, then you’ve grown. Every time you grow and learn and fail, you get better at figuring out how the hell to succeed.
Allow yourself to make mistakes and fail often but don't let it become a habit if nature.
10. Success
There is no point at which you will have succeeded. Not in your twenties. Not ever.
Get over that fact and start building things (see point 2 and combine with point 9).
11. Patience
Be patient. Nothing worth doing is worth doing quickly. Nothing worth building is worth building in a rush. Nothing of value is formed in a minute.
Plan in decades. Think in years. Work in months. Live in days.
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