A letter from October 11th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, I am writing this because I am hoping that you are doing better than I am. I have reached a low point in my life where nothing seems to be going right. July/August where I went to Europe was the happiest I have ever felt and my life has just started going downhill from then on spiraling into a depressive state. I am also likely to fail my Uni classes this semester because I am at a point where I don't enjoy University anymore. I am trying to hang in there until next year where I can transfer to the course I really want but I have gone to less than half of my classes because I have almost totally lost interest, so yay. At the same time I am also having no luck finding a job (not for lack of trying I can tell you that) and because of that I am on the verge of cancelling my America(AGDQ)/Japan (Study Tour) and Melbourne (PAX) trips because it will no longer be viable financially. Currently the only thing that is keeping my mental state intact is my online friends and getting the chance to meet them during these trips is something I have looked forward to more than anything and the fact that I will likely have to cancel has me more upset than I have ever been. I have also been discussing with friends from Melbourne into moving there from Brisbane but because of various ties to Brisbane I am unable to commit to that so I have to stay with my parents with the time being which to be honest is not something I want to do. So yeah basically this combination of shitty things has put me in such a bad mental state that I've noticed things like changes in appetite, sleep pattern being all over the place, not enjoying the things I used to, general feeling of existential loneliness, inability to concentrate on anything properly, etc. Basically I have lost the will to do anything productive with my life because it's turning out to just be one big disappointment after another. And I know other people have it so much worse than me so complaining about this seems incredibly petty, but I just want to not feel like this anymore. I want to be happy again. Hopefully you are by the time you read this. -Past Michael.