A letter from October 16th, 2016

Dear Future Me, It's Sunday and you've jsut been on a date with a guy you met online. You talked but, as you met each other face to face, you felt there was no chemistry, so right now you are struggling with the idea of having to tell him that you are not interested. It's going to be tough. Your friends from London are trying to set you up with a friend of them but it feels that you have had enough of "blind" dates. Also, you told Filipa that you needed to talk to her - because you hadn't said anything about the date before but, as you arrived home, you NEEDED to tell someone - and then you said you'd been on a date with "a person" and she went "OMG" because, since you didn't say "with a guy" she thought you were coming out. That was funny. You're reading Falling Angels from Tracy Chevalier and this month you forgot to send the text for the magazine you vonlunteer at, called Blogazine, it's taken cared of now. It was a very lazy month since you still have to post the text for that bloggers group, Boteco. Also, since the date didn't wok out and you dread telling the man, you have finally decided that you are going to finnish that bloody book you've been writing for TWO years. Lazy idiot. I hope you have done it by now, don't embarrass me. Well, yourself. You're having Ruffles Presunto, your favourite crips and dreading tomorrow because of the date, but by the time you are reading this it's probably just a blur, so it should make you laugh or feel relieved as you look back. I, however, still have to take care of that, so you see how lucky you are now. Ah. You went to a concert last Thursday, António Zambujo, and you are going to see Carminho for the third time in a year, not all is bad. You promised you would call your niece during the week, it's been weeks since you've last spoken, hopefully you haven't forgotten. She ate steak for the first time and she LOVED it. That's my girl. Are you still keeping the diaries? You already have two written for this year and you started another that, for some reason, you're not updating as much. I hope you are still going and, if not, go and grab some notebook and start again now! You've started once, you can always start again. You're living in Dessel right now, on that dakappartment that you like so much, because it's cosy and it's yours and you love to live on your own. Did you manage to move and live in London as you've always wanted? Or are you still here in Belgium, searching your ways? I hope that, wherever you are, it's a place that makes you happy. Do you remember Zé? He talks to you on skype and you exchange letters with Elizabeth, Vera and Séninho, once in a while with Rae. Yes, you still haven't answered Billie, even though it's been a couple of weeks already, that's you right now, always procrastinating things and then taking care of everything you haven't up until then in one sitting. It works fine but, you know, hopefully you got things sorted. Wow, I've written more on this letter to you than I have in the last months. Well done, me. Well done, you. Remember, you've always made it through. Even when things were not fine, you were still happy. It's like your second name, happiness, so whatever happens you can rebuild and reinvent yourself. Start again. Make good decisions. Love. I hope that, when this letter finds you, you have had a better date, one closest to what you are looking for, where you can set your future on. Now, I'm going to continue reading my book, dreading being open and honest to Wesley, and get ready to another working week. Stop being a creator of impossibilities. Love, xo Carina