A letter from October 17th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, Right now you are 22 years old. You just became manager at work and youre taking 3 classes and youre super overwhelmed and trying not to stress. You and T are ok, you kind of want a break but are terrified of the world because you've spent 3 years away and you've grown so much since then. So much has changed. You got your license and are waiting extremely impatiently to save for a car. You feel stagnant and anxious and feel something happening soon, hoping for the best. You are proud of the progress you've made, but when you compare yourself to others you don't feel as proud. You seriously need to stop comparing yourself, i hope you dont do that anymore. I hope you're still an avid Kehlani fan cuz shes about to be so big its scary and i know it and she knows it and i should have gone to a concert of hers by now. I hope you're still keeping up with Demi Lovato even while shes taking a break. We all need it. I hope Tinashe is still your girl crush cuz shes on the same page as Kehlani. That "wait for it vibe". Superstars. You probably wont be drinking since you pretty much never drink now. You're probably still smoking, but I would assume not as much? As long as you're doing everything you need to and should be doing, it's fine with me. I hope you've reconnected with Ri cuz she was always a good friend and it was really a time and distance thing. Reach out. She's a good one. As i mentioned before, i require you to have your own car by now. A crossover or small truck preferably, but you're aware you need to be realistic. But then again, youre wondering about how vain you can be. Sure it's your first car but you want to drive something you can be proud of. Maybe you looked at loans and are being super responsible. You should have definitely finished that college bill thing. It's ridiculous that you still havent taken care of it. That's something I don't like about you right now. Too much procrastination. You're being disciplined with your schoolwork so far, and you're doing really well, so i hope you kept that up. But then, you were wondering if maybe your relationship had anything to do with the procrastination. The fact that you can't remember much about yourself before the relationship is one of many warning bells youre ignoring. I'm not telling you how far in school I think you should be, because its so hard to get back into it. I understand if you only take one or two classes a semester. Just as long as you're trying and not allowing yourself to get stuck. Thats something you dont do anymore. Right now, you like work and you think it will be good for you. There are so many things that work for you being there. Youre very hopeful this will be a longtime thing and that you will like it and if you dont, you will leave. Because no one makes you stay anywhere anymore. No job is worth the aggrevation and stress. No man, either. I hope you're taking care of your body. Try to drink a smoothie once in a while, ok? And you shouldve tried yoga by now. It seems perfect for you in every way. You should still be eating oatmeal every day cuz you know how it helps your stomach and its soo good for you. Just keep eating it. Remember that you only have one life to live and the last thing you want to do when you're 95 is to reminisce and only say "i wish" instead of "oh well". You know you were meant to do great things. Greater than where you are right now. Whatever progress you've made by now, you're one step closer to what you're destined for. God doesn't make mistakes. Just listen. I love you.