A letter from October 23rd, 2016

Dear FutureMe, You moved, to Portland, lived with someone who was insane, very abused early on and not clear on how to move past it. You were homeless for a while, you were robbed over a period of a month of over $10 grand and no way to recover it. You came to a conclusion that Portland is not the place to be, job is good though, this plane is not the place to be. Move along little man, move along. You left/lost everything for a third time, a VA shrink called you stupid, and you still have not decided to end your life for fear of missing something. I'm starting to think you really are stupid for as well as you understand human nature and as smart as you are you continue to make poor decisions. Ending your life would be worthwhile, end the pain and agony of living. The pain of your job is unbelievable, weekends are meant for fun yet you can only use them to recover from the week. enough, move on, accept, go home.