Last 22 days of my 22nd year--A letter from December 6th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, Time flies in a different way nowadays. On a regular setting, hard days would take long and the better ones will just pass through. This is the opposite of what I felt in the past year. My better days stayed quite longer than the hard ones. But do these benefit me? No. I never wanted to bask in happiness. This may sound odd, but this is the reality. For I know, that those moments are high feeling only. Happiness as they call it. A feeling I will never be a fan of because it is lying from within. My soul never settles for the temporary. It always longs for the eternal because only the eternal can understand what my heart and mind desires. Loneliness seems to be better off than happiness. It creeps down the core and will leave you in the cold. It will make your soul sneeze and feel heavy. A sensation everyone hated. People just didn’t know that standing the cold that loneliness has to bring will heal them from the pain they are feeling when happiness leave them. It may not be seen at the moment you are lonely, but the truth is that it is empowering. It shatters you until nothing is left but the aftermath is what to look forward. The pain and heaviness will sink in you but will make you stronger and firmer. You are better than ever.