A letter from December 6th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, I just found a pouch full of my neoprint stickers from a decade ago and thought to myself, "How much have I changed and what hasn't?" I've written to the Future Me in the past but it's been years since. So I asked myself, what if I were to leave earth in a year? What would I hope to achieve then to leave peacefully? It's 19 days before Christmas. I've just completed the payroll files for the drivers. Despite the exhaustion at 3am, I still ponder over the past, the near future, and what's beyond. Mom has been anxious about me getting myself a bf since I'm not "young" anymore. More so because of her eyesight. I can only imagine the desire she has to witness my wedding. Especially since she has been deprived of her own by my irresponsible father. So much has changed this past year, yet so much has not. I'm still with my big round eyes and chubby cheeks. Yet inside, a chill has seeped into my heart. I'm no longer as warm hearted, kind or thoughtful as I used to be. I'm filled with so much impatience and cynicism that I sometimes despise myself. This is not who I want to be. Not who I want to leave this earth as. Not what I want to be remembered for... I hope that the future me will be filled with joy, hope and love. To share that with everyone and to inspire others the same. I hope that I won't be so caught up with "the real world" and forget to live in the present. I hope I get to travel and open my eyes, heart and soul to the beauty and wonders of nature and embrace the uniqueness of people.