A letter from December 26th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, Day after Christmas. You didn't go to your father's family Christmas Eve party. You told them you had a migraine, but really you just didn't want to go. It felt good to stay home with your husband and not deal with the stress of trying to please people who don't actually even like you as a person. Your father came to your in laws on Christmas Day. It went well. You have vowed to make this your new family tradition and never go to that Christmas Eve party again. A lot has happened since the last letter you wrote yourself. You and Brian got married! Within a month of that, you got a promotion! For the first time in your life you aren't worried about paying your bills. Not because you make THAT much, but because it's finally a living wage. Now when work is slow for Brian, money isn't an issue. One emergency will not ruin your life and leave you homeless. You stressed out a lot about whether or not to accept the job. Conflicting feelings of leaving your department for admin. Feeling a bit like a traitor, but also concerned you wouldn't fit in. Well you've been there three months and sure, you've cried a few times, but you always cry. You're starting to know what your job is and you get along with your boss. Recently when the president was out (and her "assistant") Paul confided in you his ambitions for the future. You get the feeling that he recognizes in you a great opportunity to cultivate a long lasting professional partnership. He listens to your opinions and takes consideration to your ideas. Leah and Drica may be unorganized and stuck in the past, but you can learn to work with them, knowing that in only a few years, Leah will retire. Let's hope that with your support, Paul can successfully play the strategic game of becoming President. Though you've been with the agency for five years now, in this new role of executive assistant, you feel a much stronger loyalty to your boss, than the agency itself. You know he wants to make progressive changes that are frankly, far overdue. You do find thoughts of work creeping into your mind far too often in your free time and you home life. It has lessened day by day. I have to assume by the time you read this, the stress of proving yourself competent in your position will have fallen away as you've become better at your job. Married life has been treating you well. It's not all that different than the relationship was previously, but there is that added sense of security in knowing you are building a life with someone. Together making something bigger and more worthwhile than something you'd have made on your own. Brian seems to enjoy married life as well. He calls you wife almost exclusively now. You take a lot of pride in providing for him. Simple "adult" things like health insurance and naming him your beneficiary. Knowing that should something happen to him you will be the one to be by his side. Whatever life's challenges may be, the two of you will never face them alone. He may not know about 401ks, but he has always been there to listen, comfort, and advise you when you need it. You still have soft insecurities due to past relationships, but Brian even understands those and does his best to build you up, instead of taking those personally. He's been there and you rarely need to explain yourself to him. You deserve this happiness. Your father is about the be 65. He talks nonstop about his eminent ***** and this makes you uncomfortable but you have gotten used to it. You spend a lot of time during your weekly visits helping him with Medicaid applications and life planning documents. It's getting difficult for you thinking about how you will cope with your aging parents. Knowing you will have to be their sole caretaker. You feel occasional resentment in that "the natural order of things" is that they should have stayed together, to take care of each other into their golden years. Not pushing that burden on to their only child. To do alone. With each of them separate. You hold out hope that your mother will find a mate. Not only for her own happiness, but also so that you will rest knowing at least one of your parents will be cared for. She's been going on dates recently. You are happy for her, but also insanely skeptical of all of them. You fear someone will take advantage of her kindness the same or worse than your father did. Time will only tell. She's been prudent in her judgement thus far. Brian just woke up and is cuddling the cat children so I suppose it's time to go. Till next year self. Love you!