Dear FutureMe,
I am not in a good place. I have been alone again this weekend, a particularly long one, and it is really terrible. I have complete freedom as in no curfew or limitations on my actions which I imagine some 18 year olds might envy. But it is horrible to be this free and have little responsibility besides yourself. I wish I could get myself out of bed, moving, volunteering, or working. I cannot somehow. I am very selfish. And self absorbed. But these things come along with the wonders of spending a great deal of time alone. I don't know why it is so hard lately. Another wave of the d-word? I don't dare say. First, I was crying a lot. Now I am mostly numb. Which is worse? I don't know, all I can do is complain. There's little to look forward to besides the fall. And that is so far away I have no clue what to do in between and thinking about it gives me a headache I am so nervous! I will be useless the next few months I guess all I know is that if I spend more time alone I will go insane. I can't do it. And yet I isolate myself. Man I know it won't be like this in September. I will be living with other people for good, in small spaces. So that's something to hold on to. But what about the seemingly endless abyss between now and then? I have no one who is interested in me anymore it seems. So if I can't hold anyone's interest (proven), why do I try? Okay. My whiny rant is over. I hope you're better off.
Sign in to FutureMe
or use your email address
Create an account
or use your email address
FutureMe uses cookies.
Learn how we use cookies to improve your experience by reviewing our Terms of Service
Share this FutureMe letter
Copy the link to your clipboard:
Or share directly via social media:
Why is this inappropriate?